Are There Jokers in Solitaire?
by ArkhamAnnie
Summary: Harleen is released from Arkham having been fully relieved of her Harley Quinn persona. She is stronger than ever and determined to live a nice, normal life. But where's the fun in that?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Everyone. This is my first attempt at fan fiction.**

 **A couple notes:**

 **-I don't own 'em. I just love 'em.**

 **-This is a slow burn sort of story. I'm just playing around with the characters a bit.**

 **-Please let me know what you think and what totally sucks. It's a learning process for me, but I hope you enjoy it.  
**

"Good luck to you Miss Quinzel. We're so proud of you," Dr. Cassidy beamed. She pulled Harleen in for a hug that felt like being trapped in an over starched vice. Harleen stepped back gently. "We couldn't have done that six months ago," Harleen quipped as she awkwardly rubbed the back of her head. Dr. Cassidy smiled. "No we certainly could not."

Dr. Cassidy looked around the small apartment that had been laid out for Harleen. "Now then, is there anything else I can do for you while I'm here?" Harleen shook her head. "No thank you. I feel like I just need some rest." The young doctor nodded. "Well you have my number in the cell the team gave you. Please don't hesitate to call me. I can be here in minutes." Harleen gave a small smile. "Thank you."

As the door closed behind the good doctor, Harleen leaned back against it and breathed a sigh of relief. Finally she was on her own. She had been a patient at the Arkham Asylum for six months and was now part of a new program meant to "integrate the rehabilitated back into society." Well, at least that's how the brochure read. Harleen was considered "their greatest triumph to date" and Dr. Sharp felt certain there were many psychiatric awards with his name on them in the future.

Harleen went over to the kitchen island that separated the kitchen from the living room and opened her backpack. One by one pill bottles appeared on the counter. When Harleen had placed the seventh one in its place, she sat down and put her head level with the medications, staring at them to see who would blink first. She sighed again. "Rehabilitated eh?"

The journey to get to this kitchen counter had been a painful one. The first three months in the asylum had been session after session of electro shock treatment and although Harleen could clearly visualize being tied down and having electrodes taped to her head, she could not for the life of her remember what the doctors were trying to correct. She was told something about codependency, but she couldn't remember the face. She could remember words like schizophrenia, PTSD, and split personality, but there were no voices to hear for confirmation. One would suppose that meant she was cured. No no, that was the wrong word. Dr. Sharp had specifically told Harleen that she would never be "cured" but she could be rehabilitated with some deliberate behavior shifts and all seven of her little friends that sat before her now.

Harleen straightened up in her chair and looked about before her eyes landed back on her backpack. She reached in and took out a deck of cards. Sliding them out she began to shuffle them quickly and set up a game of solitaire. Solitaire is how she spent most of her time in Arkham when she was deemed stable enough to have them. Suddenly she drew a card and scowled. The card had no value, just a jester staring up at her wearing a red and black hat with matching tights. Harleen lifted the card and stared at it thoughtfully. Scoffing she turned to the nearby garbage pail and threw it out. "You don't need jokers when you all you play is solitaire."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi Everyone. Thanks for the kind words so far. The first chapter was super short, but the others will be longer…I think  
I'll admit right now, there probably won't be a ton of action in this story and there won't be anything particularly clever. I'm just messing around. :)**

 **Anyhoosits…warning this chapter contains a bit of smut (just a bit)**

 _Where's that music coming from?_ Harleen opened her eyes to rolling credits and extracted her hand from the bowl of now stale popcorn. She had fallen asleep in front of the TV again. One would think that having access to mass media again would be of excitement to Harleen but she could never stay awake long enough to enjoy anything. She peeled her sweaty form off the soft leather. _Ugh I need a shower_.

The bathroom was small (like everything in the apartment) but the bathtub was mercifully deep. Steam began to fog up the mirror as Harleen removed her clothing and stepped into the comforting rain. The warm water was making her sleepy again. Harleen closed her eyes and let the world melt from her fingertips and down the drain. As she stood there, her nose caught the scent of asphalt and aftershave. Harleen lazily opened her eyes to see two strong hands encircling her small waist. The long fingers made it feel like she was being hugged by Jack Skellington. _Wait WHAT?_ Harleen's heart jumped in her throat as a stab of adrenaline coursed through her. She whipped around in the shower, dropping the soap.

She was alone.

Harleen shook her head, her heart pounding. She quickly washed off the last of the suds and shut off the water. Wrapping herself in a towel she stared at her frightened reflection. _No, you're fine. You're the pride and joy of Arkham. There are no monsters under your bed._

After Harleen's pulse had returned to Earth, she collapsed into her bed and almost immediately drifted off to sleep.

 _The hands have returned. They've wrapped around my back. I'm pulled into his form. I hear a laugh, but no face. I feel a shooting pain across my face as his hand connects with my cheek. It feels like electricity. There's that scent again…asphalt and aftershave. It makes my heart sing._

 _Suddenly I feel the smallest brush across my lips. His hands push on my back as my lips now collide with his. The kiss cannot be expressed. It sends shocks through to the ends of my fingers. He bites my bottom lip, demanding entrance. I part my mouth gently as his tongue explores my pallet. I eagerly taste him. Is that metal? The smallest moan escapes my lips. There's that laugh again. Is it even a laugh? More like a growl. The growl a hyena would make before finishing its prey. My hands roam over the body I still cannot see. His skin is bare and taught. My hands go to his scalp as my fingers tighten around his hair. Another growl._

 _I'm overcome as his hands explore my body with equal vigor. His long fingers find their way between my legs and without much ceremony, he's got me. He pinches and pulls in all the right places and I gasp in anticipation. The kisses deepen and travel as he bites and nips at my neck, releasing animal growls along the way._

 _He has his thumb on me and two fingers in me…now three. I can't hold on any longer. I throw back my head and scream._

Harleen woke up once again drenched in sweat and once again needing a shower. She clicked on her lamp and went into the bathroom. Putting both hands on either side of the sink, she looked at her reflection in the mirror.

Her eyes widened as tiny bruises began to form on her neck. _What in the hell is going on?_

Three weeks had passed since Harleen was granted her freedom and she felt average. There was no better feeling to her than putting on her favourite red summer dress and wandering the summer streets feeling the sun's warmth on her face and hands. Okay true in Gotham that was maybe three blessed days of the year, but Harleen had made the most of them and often walked miles in the daylight.

On this particular day she passed by a shop window that held various high-end purses, all displayed spaciously on white backgrounds. It was the small clutch that captured Harleen's attention. It was black with golden diamonds woven into the fabric and the gold chain that was strung around it flashed in the sunshine. Harleen narrowed her eyes as she stared into the glistening fabric. Her memory shot to life. _A dress…loud music and dancing…that laugh again…_

Harleen shook the half formed memory from her head. She giggled when she saw her reflection in the window. Her skin was paler than the background display sheets. Although her skin was whiter than the purest milk, it seemed to be impervious to sun burns. Harleen ran her fingers up and down her arms. Her skin was her armor; soft like cashmere, tough as Kevlar. _Sounds like the slogan for a ski jacket_. Harleen let out another giggle and continued on her way. She still had to be careful with her skin. There were weakened patches. Apparently when she first arrived in Arkham, she was covered in "cheap tattoos." As part of her rehabilitation, every one of them was lasered away. The skin that once held the ink was tight, but with consistent treatment one could only not see the tattoos, but the scaring was almost invisible. Still, Harleen knew this skin was not as durable as the rest of her form so she made an effort to take extra care of those vulnerabilities. A harsh beeping interrupted Harleen's skin study. She pulled out her phone to silence the alarm. _Shit_. Dr. Cassidy was meeting Harleen at her apartment in fifteen minutes. Harleen kicked off her black heels, scooped them into her hand and ran back home before Momma caught her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi Everyone. Here's a crazy long chapter. Sorry apparently I'm not as consistent with length as I thought I could be haha**

 **Thank you so much for the reviews and the follows. Just to answer a couple questions, Mr. J will be making an appearance. But not yet (we're getting there) With regards to Harley, she used to be Harley Quinn but all that has been taken out of her and she doesn't remember. That and she's on too many meds for her old personality to surface (at the moment).  
This chapter sees Harleen meeting an old friend so I hope you guys enjoy it. I'm having a lot of fun writing this.  
Anyhoo…here we go with Chapter 3 :)**

Harleen had just nicely gotten home and put the kettle on when there was a knock at the door. Harleen took a deep breath, steadied herself and unhooked the chain latch.

"Hi Sarah. Come on in. 'Scuse the mess." Dr. Cassidy walked in calmly, holding her beige shoulder bag in her hand. Harleen ran back to the kitchen just as the kettle began to whistle it's demanding tune. As she poured the boiling water into the teapot, the scent of citrus and flowers filled the apartment. Harleen loved her tea. She had a cupboard dedicated to every sort of thing one could put in tea form. Dr. Cassidy settled herself down at the island and took out her notebook and pen. Harleen flashed a forced smile and sat across from her visitor.

"So Harleen. I'll start with the obvious. How are you?" It was the same question every week. It made Harleen feel so boring not having any news to share during these weekly visits from the good doctor. Thank goodness this week was a bit different.

"I'm well thank you Sarah. I started my new job a couple days ago." Dr. Cassidy's face lit up. "That's wonderful. How are you enjoying the bar…what's it called again?"

"The Jack and Ape. I have no idea why, but I really like it there. Amanda is a fantastic boss. She's been showing me the ropes. Mixology may be my true callin." Harleen gave a nervous giggle. She hated that she would end each sentence laughing. It made her feel incredibly self-conscious and stupid. Dr. Cassidy smiled and began what Harleen referred to as the machine gun round.

"Would you consider Amanda a friend?"

-"I would consider Amanda a boss."

"Are you earning enough?"

-"I cover my bills."

"Have you been eating properly?"

-"I don't starve."

"How have you been sleeping?"

-"Like a log."

"Do you dream?"

Harleen paused for what felt like an eternity.

-"…no."

Dr. Cassidy wanted to press the question further, but when her eyes met Harleen's and Harleen refused to shift her gaze, the doctor decided to move along.

They continued their chat innocently enough, Harleen only breaking stride to pour out the tea. She held the mug close to her for its comforting protection and breathed in deep. The two women mostly continued with small talk, which to anyone looking in would seem like the most natural thing in the world. Finally, Dr. Cassidy rose to take her leave. She closed up her notebook, which now contained a few more pages of notes and with a final click of her pen announced that their meeting had come to its end. Putting everything back into her bag, Harleen led Dr. Cassidy to the door. Just as the doctor went to walk through the open door, she paused and turned back to Harleen.

"Same time next week?"

-"I'll be here."

Harleen closed the door behind Dr. Cassidy and welcomed the blissful silence of her apartment once again. _Why is being normal so draining?_

Harleen dragged her feet into her bedroom and flopped over onto her bed. She remained completely motionless for about thirty minutes before rising once again to get ready to head to work. Harleen opened her closet to see what was going to accompany her to the bar tonight. The dress there was pretty casual. Amanda's words rang through her head. _Flashy not trashy._ Harleen pulled out a purple skirt with a matching purple halter-top. The skirt was just short enough and the shirt was just low enough. What enough meant Harleen could only define as enough to get tips, but no chat ups (or at least not too many). Harleen opened her sock drawer and pulled out a pair of thick green tights. They had tiny little diamonds embroidered up the back of the leg. Carefully she put them on one leg at a time so as not to run them. After inspecting her reflection in her dress mirror, Harleen went to the bathroom to apply her make up. While she didn't consider herself an expert by any stretch, Harleen loved to wear dark make up. It felt like a mask of sorts. Her shadowed eyes and dark lips on her pale skin allowed her to pretend that she wasn't boring, average Harleen Quinzel, even if the effect was only temporary. Satisfied with her war paint, Harleen grabbed her bag and went into battle.

The Jack and Ape looked like a trendy dive bar, but it was by default and not design. The music was guitar driven and raunchy and the lighting was dark and moody (mostly because no one could ever remember to buy more light bulbs). When Harleen arrived, there were only a couple guys in the back playing pool. The place wouldn't kick off for another hour or so. Harleen took a deep breath. She found the scent of old smoke filled carpets and stale beer to be somehow a comforting and familiar odor.

As soon as Amanda caught her eye, her face lit up.

"Hey hunny. How ya keepin'?" Harleen loved Amanda's Brooklyn accent. Amanda could read the phone book and it would keep Harleen engrossed for hours.

"Oh you know…I'm keeping," Harleen rubbed the back of her neck and tucked her bag and coat underneath the bar by the towels. She grabbed one of the towels and started wiping down the bar. "Hey did you notice that black Bentley sitting across the street?"

Amanda craned her neck to look out the picture window. She could just make out the outline of the car. "Oh yeah, boy talk about not bein' from around here." Amanda shrugged her shoulders and went back to stacking glasses behind the bar. Harleen's brow furrowed, but she decided if Amanda wasn't worried she wouldn't be either. It wasn't long before the air was filled with chatter, music, and booze. Harleen spent most of her evening with a bottle of something turned upside down into shot glasses. Her face ached from smiling and her head throbbed from putting on her friendly demeanor. Harleen's concentration on her performance was broken when she heard a heavy car door shut. She looked across the street to find four rather intimidating looking men emerge from the Bentley and walk across the street into the bar. Harleen nudged Amanda in the ribs and nodded in their direction. Amanda grinned excitedly and adjusted her bust, making sure all goods and wares were well on display. Harleen checked herself in the bar mirror and decided all her goods were just fine left in the case.

Three of the men took a corner table by the window and before anyone could blink Amanda had their full attention and their drink orders. The fourth man laughed to himself and sauntered over to the bar and took a seat on one of the far stools. He wasn't what one would describe as handsome, but there was something terribly intriguing and vaguely familiar to Harleen. She took a breath, painted her best tipping smile on her face and approached him.

"Haven't seen you around before sweetie. What are you drinking tonight?" The man looked up and for a split second Harleen saw sheer panic in the man's eyes. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, the man's eyes softened and the biggest grin spread across his face. It was the kind of smile that one gave to an old friend you never thought to see again. Harleen stepped back on her heels.

"You okay Mister?" The man struggled to find the words. His mouth tested a few but no sound came out. Harleen giggled. His nose had clearly been broken several times so it was odd that he would be so dumbfounded by a tiny blond.

"Whatever you have on draft would be great." Harleen gave him a wink and pulled him a pint with the skill of a brew master. She took out a cardboard coaster and placed the frosty glass on top.

"You okay sweetie? You look like you've seen a ghost or something?" The man smiled bashfully and shook his head.

"Sorry. You just remind me of someone I knew once."

"Well I know we haven't met. I'd remember your face," Harleen smiled as she extended her hand over the bar. "Harleen Quinzel…"

The man's grin widened as he took her small hand and encompassed it in his large mitt. "John." Harleen smiled at the warmth her hand felt. "You got a last name John?"

John paused for a moment. "Uh yeah…Snow."

Harleen giggled. "What, like the Game of Thrones character?" John blushed or at least he would have if his hide had any vessels left in it. "Uh yeah I guess so." He released Harleen's hand and she smirked. "Well John Snow it's a pleasure to meet you. I hope this won't be the last time I pour you a beer." Harleen left John where he was to attend to other patrons, but she kept checking back on him every once in a while. Everytime she said anything John's grin would illuminate his face. The look could only be described as supreme relief and recognition. John and Harleen chatted throughout the evening about nothing in particular, mostly about the muted sports highlights playing on the small tv above the bar. John only left once when his phone rang. When he saw the call display he jumped up and hurried to a quiet location. "Yeah boss…"

When John returned to the bar, the music cut and the lights began to flash. Harleen looked over to see Amanda flicking the lights on and off. "Last call fellas!"

John reached into his wallet and laid down a $100 bill. Harleen ran to grab change.

"Don't worry about it," John said as he returned his wallet into his jacket.

"But you only had one beer John." John smiled and shrugged. "I'm not worried Harley."

John stopped as his breath hitched and his eyes grew big. "Harleen…Harleen. I'm so sorry…Harleen." Harleen tilted her head back as she laughed at the panic stricken giant. "Don't worry about it John. I like that actually." John nodded and watched as his three friends stumbled out of the bar holding onto to each other for physical and emotional support.

John shook his head. "Oh jeez I better get out there before they start pissing on the car." Harleen laughed. "All right you take it easy John." John turned back just as he grabbed the door handle.

"You too Harleen. I'll see you round." And with that, John disappeared into the night.

"You were getting' pretty friendly with that guy tonight," Amanda noted, hand on hip. Harleen rolled her eyes. "Don't worry I didn't lose any drink orders."

"I know hunny, but you want to watch yourself with people like that. They run with a rough crowd." Harleen laughed.

"Amanda, this is Gotham. Who doesn't run with a rough crowd?" Amanda nodded and smiled. "Fair point. I'll finish up here hunny. You get goin'."

Harleen wrapped her coat tightly around her as the night wind cut through the streets. Thankfully she didn't live far away. As soon as she got into her building, Harleen removed her kitten heels and holding them in her hand made her way tiredly up the stairs. She went to put her key in door when she noticed something taped to her doorframe. Harleen smiled as she took the delicate object off her door. It should've filled her with fear that someone could get into her building so easily, but Harleen felt nothing but warmth and electricity at what she held in her hand.

A single purple rose.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi Everyone. Thank you so much for your reviews. It's so exciting to see that people like this story.  
Guess what? We're going to meet the Joker in this chapter (although maybe not the way one would hope)  
Sorry these chapters are getting exceedingly long. I couldn't think of a good place to break it.**

 **Without further babble…here we go :)**

The mid morning sun cracked through the bedroom window way too early.

 **BEEP BEEP BEEP** Harleen smacked shut her alarm clock. _You and the sun are both liars._ She lazily stretched out her legs until she could hear the satisfying crack of in her ankles. Stumbling out of bed, Harleen caught her reflection in her dress mirror and was truly horrified by the beast that blinked back at her. The creature in the fuzzy pants, oversized t-shirt with the tea stains down the front and hair that had become sentient sometime in the night scratched its head in confusion. _Oh dear lord that's me._ Harleen quickly grabbed her hairbrush and tamed the blond bird's nest. _Thank goodness you're single sweetie. Who could handle this travesty of a human?_

Harleen snickered to herself and went to her kitchen to make coffee.

The smell of freshly ground coffee beans filled the room and put Harleen into a state of peace seen possibly only by the Dalai Lama. With coffee in her mug and toast on her plate, Harleen wandered to the tv and turned on Gotham News. The news helicopter was high in the sky over the downtown branch of the National Bank.

"Twenty hostages and employees were killed this morning in an explosion in the National Bank after the GCPD's bomb squad were unsuccessful at defusing what police believe to be the latest in a reign of terror from the Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker." The camera changed to street level where a very tired and weary Commissioner Gordon pushed past the cameras and reporters to retreat into the swat vehicle. A reporter on the ground had an update.

"Gotham News has learned that there were six different explosive charges set within the bank, but only one turned out actually contained C4. The others were filled with springy snakes. There was no way of telling which bombs were real and which were fake until the bomb disposal unit arrived to treat each one separately. We have also learned that as each fake bomb was tied to the real one so as each false flag was disarmed, the timer on the real charge sped up.

Early investigation of the site shows that the victims were tied to each other and gagged, making escape impossible. What seems to be most shocking in this case is that not a single note was taken. The safe wasn't even opened when police arrived. This seems to be a pure act of terror."

 _How could they possibly know all that?_ Harleen looked closer at the screen to see the shaken reporter holding a torn and battered piece of paper with a purple joker stamped on the back. She couldn't believe it. That mass murdering bundle of chaos sent his plans to the media before the bomb blew. It made sense really when Harleen stopped to think about it. Gotham had many unique features, but its most unique was that every one of their criminals loved attention more than the crimes themselves. _Must be something in the water._

Harleen shook her head and turned off the tv. Once she had placed the mug and dish in the sink, Harleen turned to the single rose that now sat in the thin vase on the kitchen island. She reached out to touch it, but withdrew her fingers at the last moment. A fear filled her that if she touched the soft petals, they would all wilt off and disappear. Silly thinking, but even so Harleen left the rose where it was.

 _Later that day_

Harleen braced the door to her apartment to allow it to click shut gently. She locked her deadbolt and put the keys into her pocket as she descended the stairs and out the door to work. The wind was bitter, but her leather boots came up to her knees and met her long red coat so Harleen just shoved her hands in her pockets and almost skipped to work so as not to trip in her heels. Suddenly a gust of wind shot through the street and swirled around her legs and straight up her coat. Once passed her boots, the only thing protecting Harleen from the weather were her diamond tights which offered little. Harleen jumped and squeaked at the sudden shock of cold and whipped around to pull her coat tighter still to herself. Thinking that probably looked a bit bonkers to any witnesses Harleen's eyes darted around to make sure no one caught her dance. She straightened herself up a bit and was about to continue her walk when her eyes landed on a sight more blatant than the Bentley.

Across the street of her tattered neighborhood was a metallic purple Lamborghini Aventador Pirelli. _Oh, I'm a dork for knowing that_. There was a figure sat inside. Harleen squinted her eyes to see what maniac would park such a beastie here. Nevermind that, what kind of maniac would _own_ such an ostentatious vehicle? The focus in Harleen's eyes softened in memory. She knew this car. She had been in this car. _Soft leather seats…those white hands again…one working its way up Harleen's thigh as the car roars through the darkened Gotham streets…_ Harleen's breath hitched. She shook her head. That's not even possible. I would have no doubt if I had ever sat in a car like that. Harleen continued her walk, but looked back once she could see through the untinted windshield. The figure was definitely watching her. _Is that green hair? No…it couldn't be him._ Harleen's eyes widened. Her head whipped forward and she finished her journey to the bar with a quick step and never looking back again.

As soon as Harleen got into the Jack and Ape, she ran into the kitchen to find Amanda.

"Amanda, I swear to Batman I just saw the Joker outside. What do we do?" Amanda laughed. "All right hunny calm down. Seeing the Joker around here on a Friday means you get two wishes instead of the standard one." Harleen stuck her tongue out at her curly haired boss. She knew that Amanda was taking the piss so Harleen dropped the subject. Although her heart was racing, Harleen wasn't afraid or even nervous. She reached up and rubbed the back of her neck.

Friday nights were tricky ones for Amanda and Harleen. While they had top bouncers in Gotham, sometimes they would have to take the party into their own hands. If Harleen was mayor she would make it law that everyone's pay cheques be staggered. Within a few hours, those pay cheques were in the till and those patrons were on the floor.

Amanda was propping one such client back on his bar stool. His head slumped onto her shoulder as he mumbled incoherently. "Now Bill if I said yes to every proposal you gave me, we'd have been married twenty times over and I wouldn't have to be so gentle," Amanda chuckled. Bill swayed a bit then fell forwarded, sleeping soundly with his head propped on the bar. Amanda shoved a coaster under him and made her way back to Harleen who was busy pouring shots. After the last tray left filled with the tiny glasses of jet fuel, Harleen grabbed an empty tray.

"Be right back Amanda. We're running low on beer glasses. I'm going to do a sweep." Amanda nodded and continued to wipe down the bar (except for where Bill's head rest of course). Harleen had made it to the back corner where the pool tables were and was stacking glasses on her tray when she heard a scuffle kick off behind her. Four men with big fists and no necks had taken exception to each other and were yelling and shoving each other around the table like an out of control recess fight. Suddenly one grabbed a pool cue and smashed it in half ready to spear the next man to come near him.

"HEY KNOCK IT OFF!" The men spun around to see the tiny blond source of the yell. For a moment no one moved or made a sound, all stunned into silence by the feminine audacity. The biggest of the goons, looking like an upside down triangle thumped over to Harleen until he was inches from her face, his beer soaked breath somehow offending all five of her senses. "What are you going to do? Go all Patrick Swayze on us? Why don't you run along little girl?"

Harleen set her tray down, clenched her teeth and picked up a glass behind her back. "I never run away from other little girls." With that she raised her arm and slammed the glass as hard as she could onto the top of the big goon's head. He fell with a satisfying THUNK but judging by the looks of the others, only Harleen took in that satisfaction. Mr. Pool Cue swung his weapon and struck Harleen in the back of the knee. She fell onto her good leg and picked up the other half of the pool cue that had been abandoned on the floor. She leaped to her feet and swung at the third guy like it was bottom of the ninth in game seven. She hit high but only got him in the ribs. It was enough to smart. The fourth giant went to swing a mitt her way, but Harleen thanks to being in relatively good shape, jumped onto the pool table and launched herself onto the guy's back.

"GET 'ER OFFA ME!" screamed the defenseless monster. Harleen clamped her elbow around his windpipe and pulled with her other arm, locking him a chokehold. As the man sunk to his knees and ran out of breath, Harleen was joined by three bouncers who hauled off the unengaged trio while a fourth bouncer gently pulled Harleen off her victim and escorted the wheezer out of the bar.

Harleen bent over and braced her hands on her knees. "What took you so long?"

Eddie grinned. "Well to be honest, we were so impressed with your showing we didn't think we had to step in until we saw the other three coming back." Harleen punched him in the arm. "Yeah…thanks a lot buddy." She cleared up the other empty beer glasses and made her way back to Amanda.

"Christ Harleen. Where'd you learn to do all that?" Amanda asked impressed. Harleen put the glasses into the dishwasher still a little short on breath. "I have no friggin' idea."

At long last, the bar closed for the evening. By the time they got all the mess cleaned up and put away, the sun was just thinking about peaking over the horizon. Amanda wrapped her arm around Harleen's shoulder. "Here are your tips for the night hunny. You should go home. You look like hell." Harleen gave a weary smile. Her legs could barely carry her to her coat. Her arms ached as it took every ounce of effort to sheath them in their sleeves. She waved goodbye to everyone and began her long walk back home.

The streetlights flickered along the empty street. No one was out at this time of night or morning depending on your approach. Harleen walked along with her hands in her pockets and her head bowed, not having the energy to keep it lifted. A small noise behind her gave the motivation. She couldn't tell if someone was behind her or if her footsteps were echoing off the buildings. Harleen managed a small glance behind her and saw no one. Her hand drifted further into her pocket and grasped her house key. She lodged the key between her index and middle fingers and made a fist.

The apartment was just a couple blocks away. Just a few more steps to warmth and a bubble bath. With that thought, a hand the size of Harleen's face came out and pulled her into a dead end alley. Her eyes widened as four men approached her. She heard the bone chilling sound of metal on metal as flick knives were revealed.

"Oh come on guys. I'm just trying to get home. Cut a girl a break." It suddenly dawned on her that these men were bigger than the ones in the bar and far more sober. Harleen's hand gripped around her key even tighter.

"Thank you gentlemen, but please, leave this one to me." The voice sounded like Death on ice. Out of the shadows came a shock of green hair and a smile so wide it would give the Cheshire Cat a complex. Harleen forgot how to breathe. Every muscle in her body tensed up as the ghostly white figure came into view. He was wearing an alligator skin jacket that was the exact shade of purple as his car. His lips were blood red and they curled up to reveal a mouth full of metallic teeth. The henchmen cleared off and were completely out of view of Harleen although she was sure she was still in their sights. It wasn't until the smile was so close it was almost devouring her that Harleen remembered how her lungs worked. She took in a deep breath _asphalt and aftershave_. She exhaled in a strained whisper. _Joker…_

The Joker reached behind Harleen and laid a hand on the wall next to her head.

"Hi kitten." Harleen looked straight into the Joker's eyes. They were such a deep green she almost fell in. _Why am I not afraid?_ There was so much electricity surging through her down to her fingertips that Harleen couldn't think of anything else, let alone fear.

"Why so serious pumpkin? You look like you've seen a ghost." The Joker's breath danced across Harleen's ears and down her neck making her flush (or at least it would if she could show any colour in her face). Harleen's chest was heaving with excitement and adrenaline, but her gaze stayed completely fixed on that of the Joker. Suddenly the small gap between them closed as the Joker pressed his body completely against Harleen's. She realized that his jacket was the only thing he was wearing above his pants. She tried to hold her stare but managed to see that what wasn't covered in DIY tattoos was pure muscle. _How are you now freezing out here?_ A shiver shot through Harleen as the Joker's smile relaxed and he pushed himself against her. _Did he just growl at me?_ Now both of his hands sheltered her head. His eyes were full of what Harleen could only fathom was pure uninhibited animal lust. Without breaking her focus, Harleen's lips pulled into a sadistic smile that released another growl from the Joker. He smiled and pushed his lips to meet hers.

Her lips just barely made contact with his when her leg kicked up with all its strength and got him right where no man wants to be decked. The Joker grunted and doubled over. As his face left hers, Harleen tightened her fist with the key protruding between her fingers and she punched for all she was worth connecting with the clown prince's jaw. Before she could catch herself or even think, Harleen ran as fast as metahumanly possible. She heard heavy footsteps pounding the pavement behind her, but they were stopped by the insane cackling of the man now bleeding onto the sidewalk. Harleen didn't stop running until she was back in her apartment, letting the door slam behind her.

Harleen was too far away to hear, but the Joker stood up and held a hand to his jaw to stop the bleeding. "That's my girl."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi Everyone. I'm so pleased you guys seem to be enjoying this story. I'm having tons of fun writing it.**

 **WARNING: Smuttiness may be found within this chapter. It will be in italics if you would like to skip.**

Harleen was nearly choking by the time she arrived home. She had never run that hard and that fast before in her life. Her lungs were screaming and full of liquid. She slammed the door behind her and fell against it, slowly crumpling to the floor. Harleen's eyes overflowed with tears, but instead of sobs escaping her lips hysterical laughter filled the apartment. Harleen couldn't wipe the grin off her face. There was so much adrenaline thumping through her, she felt as though she could run through walls. No one ever escapes the Joker. _Well I just did._

It felt like hours had passed before Harleen felt she had strength enough to stand up. Even then, it took a few attempts before she could get her wobbly legs under her. She steadied herself on a nearby bookshelf and taking a few deep breaths, she made her way to the bathroom. With one hand on either side of the sink, Harleen examined her reflection. She had never felt so alive. Her hands were still shaking as she rubbed the back of her neck nervously. Bruises were beginning to form on her arms and who knows where else from the bar fight she broke up earlier. Her eyes were the brightest blue as the tears amplified their natural colour. Another laugh slid out as Harleen looked at her pale skin. _Same as his_. Harleen sat on the edge of her bath tub and continued to giggle nonsensically. Her fingers traced her lips and ran down her jaw line and along her neck to her clavicle. She wanted to relive anywhere the Joker's breath had caught her. She felt like a teenager after her first kiss. Her laughter was positively giddy.

With all the energy in the world, Harleen leaped up and danced to her bedroom. She stripped out of her work clothes and fell happily into bed. _No pajamas tonight…too restricting._ Harleen closed her eyes and the smile on her face never left until morning.

 _I'm back in the alley…with him. He extends an arm on either side of my face…just as before. That smile is a drug. His laugh is addictive. "Hi Kitten," he purrs. There's so much electricity flowing through me I can't feel my fingers. This time there is no hesitation. His lips press against mine and I grab his coat lapels to bring him closer. I press my mouth on his so hard I fear we might melt into one being. He is thrown off balance by my show of force. He quickly undoes the big buttons on my coat and wraps his arms around my waist, sealing us together. His tongue looks for entry so I bite it playfully, releasing a happy growl from my clown prince. His mouth moves away from mine and begins to travel down my neck biting and licking as he goes. I audibly moan and feel his smile press into my neck harder. I can just reach his ear so I bite and lick along its curve. I bite and suck on his lobe which releases another growl flooding me with pride. He presses even harder into me, keeping me trapped between his body and the brick wall behind me. My legs pick up and wrap themselves around his waist as his hands travel along my thighs. I can feel him pressing into my most intimate spaces. His touch is so overwhelming I can hardly breath. Even with the restricted space, I grind my hips into his with nagging desperation. His lips press against my ear. "Say it." I roll my head back…" Please." There's that grin again. He releases himself from his pants and drags the tip along me. There's nothing in between us…that's the advantage of dreams. He keeps teasing me and cackles at my frustrated cries. Everytime he contacts my clit, I go numb with electricity. I whip my head back to meet his gaze. His green eyes have gone incredibly dark and his smile is pure evil. This time the growl comes from me as I grab his face in my hands and bite his lower lip. I kiss him ferociously. "Fuck me…NOW." He pulls his lips away from mine and chuckles. "Oh kitten, you're not the one in charge here." He takes a finger and strokes slowly between my folds. I whimper. "But I said please." He brings the finger to his lips and sucks it clean. "Yes…yes you did." Without any precaution he thrusts fully into me. I scream in pain and pleasure. I can feel myself tighten around him instantly. There is no gentle crescendo as he begins to thrust so hard he's pinning me to the wall all over again. I gasp as I struggle for air, but he rests his forehead on mine and just grins. Suddenly all that has been building in me is released at once. I lose all feeling in my limbs as shocks shoot through every nerve ending I have. As I shudder and ride the waves to their conclusion, he fills me to bursting point. I weakly let me legs drop from his waist and steady them underneath me. His breathing is haggard as he cups my head in his long hands and kisses me gently. "I'll see you soon baby."_

 **BEEP BEEP BEEP** Harleen rolled over to stare at her clock. _Wow I hate you._ She sat up and swept the hair back that was stuck to her forehead. After Harleen showered, she dressed in the old standard of jeans and a t shirt, then went out into her living room. She unlocked the door as today was another visit from Sarah. Harleen put the coffee on then went to the tv to turn on the news.

"The Joker's wave of crime continued last night as another bank was blown to pieces without a single bank note being stolen. This time marked the first time however that there were no deaths. There weren't even any injuries." The screen then flashed up images caught on the security cameras. All of the Joker's men were masked, but the Joker himself allowed his face to remain in clear view as if taunting the cameras. There was no sound to the footage, but Harleen knew that the bank was being filled with inane cackling. The Joker danced around placing neatly wrapped boxes in different corners of the main bank floor until they formed a smiley face. Then the Joker got right close to the main camera, gave a little wave and a wink and disappeared from view. Seconds later the footage distorted as all the boxes exploded at once. Harleen giggled as she watched, feeling like she was the only one in on the joke. Harleen looked at the timer that was at the bottom of the security screen. **4:30AM** _That was just an hour after I saw him._ This didn't feel like an angry demonstration. This looked like something else. Almost a celebration…and what better way to celebrate than to blow up a bank?

 _Knock knock_ Harleen clicked off the tv. "It's open." Dr. Cassidy gently pushed open the door and guided it back to its latch so as not to make too much noise.

"Hello Harleen. How are you today?" Harleen adjusted herself on the couch to sit cross-legged and face Dr. Cassidy. "I'm all right I suppose." _Machine gun time._

"Were you watching tv?"

-"Yes I was."

"What were you watching?"

-"Just the news."

"Anything catch your interest?"

-"The Joker's been at it again. Blew up another bank."

Dr. Cassidy paused. Harleen thought she saw a moment's panic, but if she did it was quickly replaced with a look of calm.

"How did it make you feel to see that story?"

Harleen scoffed. "Okay Dr. Freud." Dr. Cassidy's lips tightened.

"No really Harleen. Tell me."

-"I didn't make me feel anything. It's just another news story about some camp Gotham villain."

Dr. Cassidy nodded slowly and wrote something in her notebook. "I would recommend Harleen that you keep away from watching the news. You have had a lot of trauma in your life that we are trying to repair. Watching violent images may stir up unwanted emotions within you."

"All right Sarah. I'll just stick to Sesame Street and Thomas the Tank Engine," Harleen smirked.

Dr. Cassidy changed subjects. "How are you for medication?"

-"Fine, thank you."

"How is your new job working out?"

-"Well enough. I've been learning a lot."

"Where did those bruises come from?" Dr. Cassidy motioned to Harleen's arms.

Harleen paused for a moment and acted surprised like the bruises just suddenly appeared. "Oh these bruises. Just me being clumsy. You remember how uncoordinated I was back in Arkham." Harleen tried to pass it off with a giggle, but Dr. Cassidy frowned. Harleen was many things back in Arkham, but uncoordinated was not one of them. She was a gymnast for cryin' out loud. However, Dr. Cassidy was under strict instructions not to provoke Harleen in any way. The last thing they wanted was an outburst that would send Harleen back to Arkham and undo their prize-winning work (soon to be prize winning work).

Dr. Cassidy scanned the room when her eyes caught a purple glimmer. "Harleen, where did that rose come from? It's beautiful." Harleen felt her face get warm. "Some guy at the bar gave it to me. I thought it was cute." Dr. Cassidy lit up at the mention of a potential new guy. It meant that Harleen was moving away from her past and had possibly forgotten all about it.

"Want to tell me about him?"

Harleen started at her hands. She wasn't good at lying on the fly. "Just a guy that comes by every once in a while. Drives a nice car, wears nice suits. He has always been very kind and polite with me. Rare qualities in this city."

Dr. Cassidy smiled. "What's his name?"

Harleen cleared her throat. "John." She relaxed when she saw that Dr. Cassidy was satisfied with her answers. Dr. Cassidy looked at her watch in surprise. "Oh good grief. I have to get going. Time flies, doesn't it." She packed up her bag and headed to the door. "Take care Harleen and we'll see you next week."

"Bye Sarah." Harleen closed the door and once again breathed a sigh of relief.

Harleen sat back down on her couch and pulled up her laptop. She opened a new browser window and searched the Joker. Her screen was filled with hundreds of stories and images of the maniacal madman. He even had his own Wikipedia page. _This guy is legit._ She scrolled through the images and stared into the eyes of each one. _Who are you?_ They all stared back with a burrowing glare that made Harleen tingle all over. She couldn't even look at a blurry phone image of the Joker without her heart going into palpitations. After scrolling through picture after picture (and a few explicit fan art drawings of him and Batman) Harleen landed on a picture that completely stunned her. Once again she lost all feeling in her fingertips.

Staring back at her was a blurry picture captured by a security camera of the Joker standing behind a woman with his arms wrapped around her waist. It was as if they had posed in the bank together. He was wearing a black tuxedo and she was dressed in a red and black Harlequin outfit, like she had come to life off and danced right off a playing card. What made Harleen's breath stick in her throat was the big blue eyes staring back at her from the screen were her own.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi Everyone. Must preface this chapter with an apology. This is not a terribly exciting chapter, but I need to set up things for the future. I also want to address where I'm going with the characters in case people think I'm bonkers.**

 **I recently re-read the Harley tie in story to Death of the Family where the Joker tells Harley that she's not crazy. Becoming Harley Quinn was a choice and an excuse for her actions. While he meant it as a shot I thought it was an interesting idea that Harley isn't crazy, but a master manipulator and just changes her identity to fit the situation.**

 **Anyhoo…that's a lot of talking on my part. I hope to post a new chapter soon that's more interesting than this one. :)**

Harleen thought she was going to be sick. She slammed shut her laptop and grabbed handfuls of her hair, pulling it backwards. _That's impossible._ Harleen knew there were chunks of her memory missing, but whenever she tried to bring them up in her mind she would be overwhelmed with headaches and nausea. She stared back at her seven soldiers on the counter. _Some help you are._ Harleen breathed and rubbed the back of her neck. _No it couldn't be me. The picture was all blurry. It was too hard to tell. Not me…not me…not me…_

Standing up, Harleen stretched out her arms as far as they would reach and felt the satisfying pop in all her joints. She ran her fingers through her hair, pulling it back into shape and went to put her coat on to head to the bar. Today was a day shift as Harleen was now put in charge of payroll and HR like activities. _Nice to see the OCD paying off._ She'd be the only one in the place, which offered a nice opportunity for quiet. As Harleen extended her arms through each of the sleeves a familiar scent wafted off the fabric. _Asphalt and aftershave._ It mixed with her own scent of freshly scented soap. Harleen lifted the collar of her coat and breathed in the heavenly mixture. _Am I still dreaming? Are these dreams or memories?_ Harleen shook her head. "Get with it girly. He's a monster who would kill you as soon as look at you." Harleen locked her door behind her and descended the dank stairs. _But he didn't._

About halfway to the bar, Harleen's phone began to ring. She stared at the screen to see Amanda's name flashing back at her. "Hey Amanda, what's up?"

"Oh my gosh Harleen thank goodness I got you. I thought you were at work already," Amanda's voice was shaking uncontrollably. Harleen stopped walking.

"No I'm about ten minutes out. What's wrong?" Amanda paused trying to compose herself enough to get the words out.

"The bar…it's burning to the ground." Harleen took off in a sprint. The edges of her coat flew about her as she tore down the street. As she came around the corner, she could see that firetrucks had blocked the road and massive hoses were strung out everywhere battling the blaze. Not only had the flames engulfed the bar, but they were beginning to take on the neighbouring buildings. Harleen gulped as she slowed down. As she approached she spotted Amanda whose eyes were red from smoke and tears. She ran through the scattered cops and firemen to throw her arms around Amanda's neck.

"Amanda what happened? Are you okay?" Harleen could barely breath. Amanda hugged Harleen tightly and began to sob, overcome with the emotion she worked so hard to keep contained.

"Those…bastards," was all Amanda could say. She lifted her head from Harleen's shoulder and clenched her fists. "Those no good son of a bitch bastards!"

"Who Amanda? Are you saying this is arson? Who would burn down your place?" Harleen grabbed Amanda's face in her hands and stared into her eyes for answers.

Amanda wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her coat sleeve. "Falcone. It was Falcone and his goons. I got a warning from them two nights ago, but I didn't listen to them. I didn't want to be intimidated." Harleen backed away from Amanda.

"Amanda, are you crazy? Falcone doesn't bluff. He's a friggin' mobster. They're the least bluffiest people in the world. What did he want? Money? What was your deal?" Harleen was almost screaming. Amanda shuddered.

"No, he didn't want money. I was never late in my protection payments. But in his eyes I double crossed him by extending a favour to an old friend." Amanda bowed her head. "It was such a small thing. I didn't think he would find out." Just then, a black Bentley pulled up to the scene. Harleen looked up as John and his friends stepped out into the light of the sirens of the fire trucks. John crossed the barriers and approached Amanda and Harleen while the other three waited behind the lines.

"Amanda, I'm sorry…" Amanda's eyes filled with rage and John's sentence was cut off as Amanda slapped him with a deafening CRACK. She shoved passed him and disappeared around the corner, unable to stand the sight of her life burning about her. When Amanda had left, Harleen's eyes returned to John.

"What was that about?" John's lips upturned into a small smile as he rubbed his cheek. "Meh, she gets like that when the mob tries to kill her. You know how women are." Harleen chuckled then quickly held a hand up to her mouth so no one could see her laughing in front of a burning building. Their mutual chuckles died down and Harleen rubbed the back her neck.

"Well I guess there isn't much reason for me to hang around. I should go home and check the wanted ads." John called out as Harleen turned to walk away. "Want a ride back to your place?" Harleen smiled and looked back at the three burly men waiting on John. "Thanks John, but it looks like it may be a tight squeeze." John nodded in understanding and then jumped as his phone began to ring. He sighed as he looked at the call display.

"Yeah Boss. Well I…no I couldn't stop…she's on her way? …Well I…want me to? ...Right away boss." Harleen paused and waiting until John hung up.

"Your 'boss' sounds like a real dick John." John threw back his head and laughed. His laugh cracked and sputtered, like it was the first real laugh he had released in years. "Well…you get used to him, but he's been called worse. Take care Harleen. I'm sure I'll see you around."

Harleen got home just as dusk descended on her beloved Gotham. As she entered her apartment, she kicked off her boots and fell back onto the couch. Harleen stared at the ceiling for ages trying to comprehend the events of the past couple of hours. _How did that stain get up there?_ Slowly Harleen rolled her neck back down, letting each vertebrae crack deliciously. Her eyes focused on her laptop that had remained closed since this morning. Harleen ran her fingers over the top and then slowly drew it towards herself and open it back up. The offending picture was still front and centre, staring at Harleen daring her to blink. _Is that really me?_ Not giving in, Harleen minimized the window and was about to close her computer again when she noticed a video file sitting on her desktop. It was labeled 'Harley Quinn.' Harleen ran her cursor over the file. The pop up info read that the file had been added twenty minutes ago. _How is that even possible?_ With narrowed eyes and overwhelming curiosity, Harleen clicked it open. Instantly the green haired, red-lipped King of Gotham appeared in all his full screen glory. He was sitting behind a desk wearing a half undone purple dress shirt with a bow tie draped around his collar. Harleen's heart leapt as she felt shocks of excitement and anger. _Bastard's hacked my computer…oh God my browser history._ Harleen shook her head, rubbed her neck and pressed play.

 _"_ _Hi Kitten. Sorry to hear about the Jack and Ape (giggle). Thought of that name myself. Anyway, why don't you come see me sometime? We'll have some laughs (more manic laughter). Oh but cupcake, get rid of that tiresome Dr. Cassidy first. (lowered eyes) Don't make me do it for you."_

The video ended with high-pitched cackling and cut off without warning. Harleen shut the lid to her laptop even faster than she did the first time. She'd never seen a man go through so many emotions in so few sentences. _Course maybe he isn't even a man._ His last sentence sent shivers down Harleen's spine. He made her feel afraid and seduced all at the same time. It was incredible. _What does he mean 'get rid' of Dr. Cassidy? How does he even know? Course he's hacked my computer and…_ Harleen looked over at the rose _…oh you dick._

The next day, Harleen seriously considered hiding in her bed forever. _If I don't get up, none of it is real._ She wasn't ready to face any decisions today. She just wanted to wrap herself in the blankets like a cocoon and emerge as a lovely, normal butterfly ready for a lovely, normal life. Harleen looked over at her phone to see a text waiting for her. _No such luck._

" _Hey hunny. Call me when you can."_ _–Amanda_

Harleen bury her face into her pillow. With a growl she flipped over and grabbed her phone from its recharge cord. Curiosity was always going to win with Harleen Quinzel. The line only rang twice before an unusually bubbly Amanda answered.

"Hey hunny. How's things?"

-"You're awfully chipper this morning. Did I just dream about the fire?"

"Oh no hunny. That all happened, but I have great news…well not great news. Good news."

-"All right. Lay it on me."

"I have landed jobs for all you guys; well at least for the time being." Harleen rubbed her eyes and sat up.

-"Wait. How did you manage that? It hasn't even been twenty-four hours since the bar went up."

"Don't worry about the details. I have connections okay."

-"Yeah I know about your connections. They burned down the bar."

"That's different. Now stop grumbling and meet me at The Knife Edge at two this afternoon. That's your new place of employment by the way. The guy here wants you to do his bookkeeping. He was real impressed when I told him how you handled all our papers."

-"Amanda, I just did payroll. I don't know how to…"

"Sweetie you think too much. Just be here at two okay. Remember, flashy not trashy." _Click_

Harleen put her phone back on the table beside her bed. No sooner had she done that then it buzzed excitedly with the address to The Knife Edge. _Yep, cocoon it is._

With that thought, Harleen wrapped herself up in her blankets and hoped to emerge with wings later.

After a couple hours of simple existence beneath the covers, Harleen turned over and forced herself upright. _Flashy not trashy eh._ Harleen opened up both doors of her closet. _What the hell does a flashy bookkeeper wear?_ Harleen looked out her window and saw the noonday sun streaming in through her lace curtains. It was another rare, but beautiful day in Gotham. Harleen's fingers flipped through her clothes until she landed on a vintage halter dress that she hadn't worn in ages. It was dark burgundy with a trail of black diamonds that started from the right strap and wrapped their way around to finish on the left hem of the skirt. Harleen curled her hair into fat ringlets that fell comfortably around her shoulders and paired her dress with dark tights and her Mary Jane pumps that she had to dust off. With big eyelashes and red lips, Harleen nodded at her reflection and made her way out the door. She descended into the garage and made her way to her loyal old friend, her purple Honda. Harleen didn't drive it often, but it always fired up when she came to visit. There were large patches of missing paint and rust spots adding unnecessary accents to the look. Harleen smiled and sighed as the car started up like always without hesitation, just happy to be out in the sun.

The closer Harleen got to her new place of employment, the more nervous she became. Her hands kept slipping on the steering wheel from clamminess and her heart thumped louder than the chunky rock on the radio. Harleen decided to park a few blocks away and walk to her destination, just in case anyone should be outside and wonder what fresh hell was burning up the pavement. As she shut the car door, Harleen kissed her fingers and placed them on the doorframe. Checking her face in her pocket mirror, Harleen brushed her hair back with her fingers, snapped the compact shut and began walking down the street to The Knife Edge. Something panged in Harleen's stomach that made her look back to her car. She gently rubbed her lipstick stained fingers with her thumb. Harleen felt like she just gave her car and her present life a goodbye kiss.

Harleen found herself walking amongst a bunch of old bricked warehouses. Most seemed to be outright abandoned with broken windows or ply wood where windows ought to be. Even in the bright sunshine, this area gave Harleen the creeps. Ahead of her lay a building with its windows intact and clean brickwork out front. _This must be the place._ The only indication of there being any sort of business inside was a large butchers knife tacked on the wall above the double doors. The doors were thick metal ones, like one would find in a bank vault. Harleen thought her heart would jump out of her throat as she raised her fist and knocked hesitantly. A small latched door above Harleen's head unlocked and two eyes partially covered with a low brow stared back at her. Without saying a word, the eyes disappeared and the door was unlocked. The door opened with an unsealing _THUNK_ and a man who looked like he ate manhole covers as biscuits gestured for Harleen to enter. Harleen took in the sight that greeted her. The walls were a deep violet and all the seats and bar stools were a bright green, the kind of green Harleen imagined would glow when the place was in full blacklit swing. There were a few booths and tables, but most of the space was dedicated to the dance floor. There was a booth encased in wire, which held all manner of DJ equipment. _How bad is your dj that you need to surround him in chicken wire._ Glass cages were hung from the ceiling in different corners, some contained poles while others held trapeze swings. Harleen couldn't help but be coloured impressed as she slowly spun around in the middle of the dance floor, lost in the flavours.

"There you are hunny. I was afraid you wouldn't show." Amanda came running down some stairs from behind the bar and scooped up Harleen in a bug hug. Harleen squiggled out of the entrapment.

"Of course I'd be here. A job's a job right." Harleen rubbed her neck and resettled her hair. Amanda held her hands and took in Harleen's appearance.

"Wow hunny. I said flashy not drop dead gorgeous," Amanda winked. "HEY JOHNNY! HARLEEN'S HERE!" John emerged from the office upstairs and came down, careful not to trip on the metal stairs.

"Hi Harleen. I told you we'd see you soon." As Johnny approached Harleen, he held his arms out to the club. "What do you think?" Harleen looked around again and smiled.

"It's amazing. Is this place yours John?" Johnny chuckled quietly. "No, no. I just work for the owner. By the way, you might as well call me Johnny. Everyone else does."

Harleen extended her hand to shake Johnny's. "Johnny Snow it is then."

Amanda burst out laughing. "Johnny Snow? That's a terrible alias. Oh hunny. His name is Johnny Frost and he'll show you to your office." Amanda walked away chuckling to herself. "Snow…that's rich."

Once Johnny's face had returned to a normal colour, he extended his arm towards the upstairs office, offering Harleen to walk in front of him. The office was surrounded in windows, which would allow Harleen an unobstructed view of the club. There was a small desk with a lamp and ledger books and papers flung everywhere. It looked like a tornado had blown through. Harleen took it in.

"Yikes Johnny, what happened here? Looks like a storm blew through." Johnny began to pick up the papers from the floor and Harleen knelt to help him.

"Well, the boss has been in here the past few weeks. He's not so good with the tediousness of bookkeeping. He's got a more artistic mind you know?" Harleen nodded and after a while all the papers were off the floor and on the desk. Harleen sat behind the desk and Johnny sat in a leather chair in front of Harleen.

"So basically, the boss wants you to fix all this. These are all our expenses and club business papers. We need to be on the up and up. The IRS is something the boss isn't willing to take on right now or ever." Harleen's lips tightened as she spun slowly in her chair. "So you need me to balance the books and make sure all necessary taxes are paid right along with your club staff?" Johnny nodded.

"Well I'm going to need a computer for starters." Johnny shook his head. "Sorry Harleen no can do. The boss wants everything done by pen and paper. He's never been one to trust technology." Harleen jumped up.

"Are you serious? Look at this mess. It will take me months just to sort this lot out, never mind everything that comes in in the meantime." Johnny pulled out a wad of bills and handed them to Harleen.

"This is for office supplies." As he got up and turned to leave Harleen got out of her chair and called out to him. "Johnny, when do I get to meet this boss of ours?"

Johnny's hand stopped on the doorknob.

"You want to meet him?"

-"Well if he's signing my paycheques I probably should don't you think?" Johnny lost himself in thought before answering. "The boss doesn't come into the club often. It's not his primary enterprise. It's a means to an end. When he does stop by, it's only at night and it's to meet with…clients." Harleen's heart slumped as she stared at her dress. _All this prep work gone to waste._ Harleen noticed a ledger book sitting on the desk open to eight months ago. "Johnny, am I replacing someone here?" Johnny sighed in frustration, wanting to leave the stale office. "Yeah, the last guy left about eight months ago.

"Why did he leave?" Johnny turned around to look straight into Harleen's eyes.

"Do your job and you'll never have to find out." With that Johnny closed the door behind him and left Harleen in her silence and questions.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi Everyone. Okay so this is another chapter that doesn't really go anywhere, but Harleen does get some alone time with the Joker.**

 **UPDATE: I've had a couple questions so I'll address them here. No one has talked to Harleen about her past because I won't let them talk about it until future chapters. The Joker hasn't mentioned it because he's still reeling from the fact that Harley has reverted back into Harleen (again I'll sort that in future chapters) Hopefully that deconfuses everyone haha  
** **Like I said…slow burn.**

 **Anyhoo, thanks again for all the favourites, follows, and reviews. I'm so lucky that you guys are enjoying this. :)**

It took Harleen three hours to sort out all the papers. She put them together by month and while staring at her invoice fort, Harleen quickly realized that she couldn't continue until she had gone shopping for stationary. She exited her office and made her way down the stairs to find Amanda and Eddie chatting by the bar. Amanda was cleaning glasses and Eddie was playing with martini swords. Harleen slumped down on a bar stool next to Eddie and raked her hands through her hair.

"Oh Amanda what did you get me into?" Amanda smiled and rested her bar towel on her hip.

"I know hunny. I didn't have time to warn ya. Is it real bad up there?"

Harleen nodded. "It's a disaster." Eddie grinned. "Anything I can help you with Harl? I'm very trainable." Harleen smiled and patted him on his broad shoulder.

"I'll be all right Eddie. I'm actually off to get some office supplies." On that note, Harleen got up and left to retrieve her car.

Office supply stores were some of Harleen's favourite places to venture. She loved the organization and the pretty colours of everything. _A place for everything and everything in its place._ She grabbed a cart and soon it was full of paper clips, staples, ledger books, post-its, pens, highlighters, and basically anything Harleen could get her hands on. As Harleen moved to the cashier, she stopped to put a big, shiny coffee maker in her cart. _Why, hello new best friend._ By the time Harleen got everything loaded into her car, the poor thing was almost riding on the tires. Harleen drove gingerly back to the club.

Night had descended by the time Harleen arrived so she drove around to the back of the building and parked near the garbage bins in the back. Harleen grabbed as many bags out of the trunk as she could and made her way to the back door. She jumped up the metal stairs to the door and thumped on it as hard as she could. A suit containing nothing but biceps and pectorals answered the door, staring down at the tiny blond figure before him.

"Hi, can you please send Eddie back here to help me with these bags?" Harleen asked as she squeezed her way passed the mountainous human. With a confused look, the guard disappeared and soon Eddie came around the corner smiling as always.

"Geez Harleen, did you empty the store or what?" Harleen punched him in the arm as she grabbed more bags. "Hey, I told you. This place is a disaster. I have to start from scratch." They went back and forth between the office and the car until the back frame of the Honda began to rest level again. Harleen jumped in her car to go park it down the street to its original position.

As she came around the corner towards the front door this time, she saw one of the valet drivers drive off with a purple Lamborghini. She could see the gleam of sweat on the driver's face as he took incredible care with the metallic vehicle. _Oh you're kidding. He cannot be my new boss._ Harleen didn't know whether to scream, laugh, or cry, so a sound escaped her lips that was a combination of the three. The only sound Harleen could hear was the blood rushing through her ears and the only thing she could feel were the electric shocks shooting to her fingers. Harleen smiled. _Time to play._

Eddie was standing by the entrance when Harleen got there. His eyes were wide as he wrung his hands. Harleen raised an eyebrow. Eddie smiled and let out a nervous chuckle. "Just met the boss." Harleen smirked. "…And?" Eddie shrugged. "Well he didn't kill me so I think I made a good first impression." Harleen laughed and patted Eddie's elbow as he opened the door for her.

Harleen quickly glanced at the bar and saw Johnny hunched over a blueprint while Amanda stood on the other side cutting up limes. Next to Johnny, Harleen spotted _him._ He was much better turned out than last Harleen saw him. The clown was wearing tailored black pants with a shimmering green shirt. The shirt was only done up about half way, allowing the black and grey tattoos to peak through. In one hand, the Joker held a white pencil, which he used to make corrections and new ideas on the blueprint. His bow tie was wrapped tightly around the other hand. Because both men were in deep conversation, Harleen decided it would be best to leave the boys to it. Even so, as Harleen began to ascend the stairs, she could feel a stabbing pain in her soul that could only come from the eyes of the Joker. Harleen looked over her shoulder to find Johnny awkwardly averting his gaze, but the Joker was glued to her entirely. Harleen met the Joker's eyes briefly under her eyelashes, smiled, then turned back to the stairs. She purposely moved her hips a bit more deliberately as she unlocked the door to her office and stepped inside. Once inside she shut the door and leaned against it. A very deliberate and gravelly laugh echoed throughout the still empty club. Harleen raised a hand to her chest to still her breathing. She looked about at all her new treasures. _Now the fun begins._

Hours had passed and with the club now in full swing, the only thing Harleen had accomplished was finding spaces for all her supplies. _At least it looks like someone works here._ Harleen leaned back in her chair and sighed at the work that was still to come. A knock at the door made her straighten up. "Come in."

Amanda stepped through the threshold. "Wow, looks great in here hunny. Why don't you come down for a drink? Don't worry. I cleared it with the boss." Harleen smiled and got up. _A gin and tonic is definitely the way to go right now._ As she followed Amanda to the bar, the sight that greeted Harleen left her speechless.

Every female employee in the club was dressed in the most ridiculous jester costume. They were all in head to toe body suits, which were red on one side and black down the other. All their faces were painted white with black masks over their eyes and topping every head was a two-pronged hat with white pompoms on the ends. The only skin showing were their painted faces. Even their hands were covered with white gloves. The sight was too much and Harleen threw her head back and laughed a laugh that filled the entire club with sound. Most of the patrons took no notice, the music and drink engulfing their senses. The employees however all stopped and looked up at the blond source. It was a laugh they all thought they would never hear again. Harleen's heart flushed with adrenaline as she turned to one of the booths and saw green eyes staring at her. Harleen's laugh was echoed by a gravelled cackle from the booth.

"What's with the clowns?" Amanda led her to the bar and started pouring the gin.

"They're harlequins hunny, not clowns. He's a clown." Amanda corrected, pointing to the booth. Harleen giggled and settled herself down with her drink. The bubbles from the tonic tickled her nose and the gin gave just enough burn to refresh Harleen's senses.

"So Amanda, exactly how did we end up here? Don't tell me you have connections here too?" Amanda laughed as she poured another round of rye and cokes for one of the corner tables. "Oh hunny, another story for another time I think. Just rest assured we're safe here." Harleen swivelled in her seat and watched the Harlequin cage dancers. _Oh I very much doubt that._

Days went by and Harleen was spending upwards of ten plus hours a day in her office getting all her books to balance. When she wasn't at work, her curiosity at home overwhelmed her and she began to read everything she could on the Joker. The more she investigated, the more she found stories and pictures of this mysterious Harley Quinn character. Harley was formally Dr. Harleen Quinzel of Arkham Asylum and girlfriend to the Joker until a bank heist went wrong and while Joker and his men escaped, Harley had been captured by Batman and thrown back into Arkham, as a patient. Harleen could not remember any of the stories or even any details of her being a psychiatrist, but the photos weren't lies. That was definitely her standing next to the Joker with a revolver in her hand. That was definitely her with her arms around the clown prince, kissing him passionately. _Gotta love the Gotham paparazzi._ Harleen had to know for sure, but who could she ask? Dr. Cassidy would surely deny everything. No, it was best to keep the good doctor in the dark on this one. The last thing Harleen needed was for the glory hungry staff at Arkham to think their prize was slipping away from them. _There would be time enough for that._ There was one person she knew she had to get alone and confront about her suspicions. Harleen went to her bedroom and picked out her outfit for work. She pulled out a black sweetheart cut dress that fell just above her knee. Again, Harleen applied her dark make up and slipped on her black Mary Jane heels and she was out the door to the club.

When Harleen arrived, she was surprised to find the door locked. Harleen rifled around in her bag until she found the small gold key that Amanda had given to her yesterday. As she entered the club, Harleen found herself encased in darkness. She had never been in the building alone before. The bright colours of the club were dull and every foot step echoed off the walls, making it sound like more bodies were in the club than just Harleen. Harleen quickly trotted across the dance floor and up the stairs to her office. She shut the door and breathed a sigh of relief, having survived the monsters that hide in the dark. _Everyone knows they're out there_. Harleen was just about to sit at her desk and begin the day's work when she heard a crash come from the back door. Harleen felt her heart try to jump out her mouth as she ducked down and looked out one of her office windows. In the darkness, she saw a figure moving about, tripping and cursing as he searched through the crates that sat in the storage area. Harleen had to think quickly. She grabbed her letter opener (the only sharp thing she had in the office), removed her shoes, and slowly opened the door and crept down the stairs. Harleen didn't dare blink for fear her eyelashes coming together would make enough noise to tip off the intruder. As Harleen came around the corner she could hear more grumbling and haggard breathing. _Was it a burglar looking to steal the cash from the safe or just a poor slob looking for a quick bottle?_ Didn't matter. In Harleen's eyes you trespass, you pay. The figure kept opening boxes and throwing lids around when he couldn't find what he was looking for. The sounds of boxes shifting and hitting the floor distracted from the sound of an approaching Harleen.

Harleen was now close enough she could almost reach out and touch the thief. She took in a deep breath and tensed up her body.

"HEY!" The figure turned around to find the sudden noise. Before he could react, Harleen leapt forward and football tackled the sorry bastard to the ground. She pushed her letter opener right to the intruder's throat.

"Don't even think about moving. I will slit your throat I swear."

Harleen gasped when she realized the was also a knife pressed to her throat _a real one._ Harleen froze until a very familiar laugh bounced off the walls and back to her ears.

"Oh Kitten, exactly what were you intending to do with that toy?" The Joker sat up and pushed the letter opener away from his throat. Harleen let it fall to the ground, but the Joker's knife held fast to her neck. _The Joker has a knife to my throat. He's going to kill me._ With that thought Harleen erupted in a fit of giggles. The Joker smiled and gently swiped the knife away, breaking the skin on Harleen's neck to release just a few drops of blood and a shudder from Harleen.

Harleen rubbed her thumb against her neck to collect the blood and instinctively sucked it clean. The Joker's eyes darkened.

"I'm glad I caught you Mr. J. I have a couple questions for you about the expenses." Joker's shoulders slumped.

"Sorry. May I call you Mr. J?"

"Of course, but expenses are so boring. Wouldn't you rather talk about something more interesting?" His grin was positively devilish.

"Like what?"

"Me." Joker began to softly stroke Harleen's back and without thinking she wrapped her legs around his lower back, keeping them both upright as she straddled his lap.

"Actually what I have to ask is about you."

"Well then go on pumpkin." Joker stared at the new cut on Harleen's neck as she began to babble.

"Well Mr. J, I can account for all expenses related to the club and the expenses of…your group, but I have receipts for which I can't find the purpose."

"Mmhmm…" The Joker began to gently brush Harleen's hair behind her ear. _He's trying to throw me off._ Harleen cleared her throat.

"I have two receipts: one for a giant fish tank, and another for two dozen piranha. What could these possibly be for?" Joker stopped and laughed maniacally.

"Ah good times. That was for a trap I set for old Batsy just for the halibut." His cackle reached fever pitch at his pun. Harleen smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm guessing it didn't work?" The Joker shrugged.

"I couldn't get the fish in on the joke." Harleen nodded thoughtfully and removed herself from the Joker's lap. As they both stood up and dusted themselves off Harleen saw her opportunity. She reached into her bra and pulled out a newspaper clipping. Joker's smile broadened and then died as Harleen put the paper in his hands.

"Who is this Mr. J?" Joker coughed.

"This was Harley Quinn. She's dead," he said quickly as he folded the paper back up and handed it to Harleen. Harleen's lips thinned out.

"This is me isn't it? I don't remember any of it, but that's me in the picture isn't it Mr. J?" Joker ignored the question and walked passed Harleen before stopping to turn around.

"Kitten, you may fill out a dress nicely and it turns out you make a fine little security guard, but you are not nor will you ever be my Harley Quinn." Joker walked away and left Harleen in darkness.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi Everyone. I know I just recently posted, but I didn't want to wait to update haha  
Warning: Smuttiness may befall all ye who read these words.  
Thanks guys :)**

"HEY!" Joker turned around and began to walk back towards Harleen angrily.

"What?"

"Hang Batman upside down."

Joker furrowed his brow. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"If you hang Batman upside down above the fish tank then the frowns of the piranha become smiles. It completes the joke." For a moment, Harleen thought she saw a smile cross Joker's face, but it soon darkened into a grimace as he growled and stormed away again.

Harleen's eyes burned with hot, angry tears. What had she done to deserve such contempt from the man she loved? _Do I love him?_ Suddenly lights began turning on in the front of the club and Harleen could hear Amanda's voice echoing down the hall. Harleen quickly wiped away her tears, straightened herself up and stomped towards the bar on a mission.

Amanda had just removed her coat and was bent over storing her bag underneath the counter when Harleen approached and slammed the news article on the bar.

"Who am I?" she cried. Amanda jumped at the sudden noise. She frowned at Harleen then looked down at the article. She sighed heavily. "The boss told us not to talk about it." Harleen's fists tightened. "He wasn't always your boss. Or is there more you're not telling me?" Amanda averted her gaze and tried to busy herself with a bar towel. Harleen's clenched fists slammed into the bar.

"TELL ME!" Amanda jumped again. Harleen stared back, her eyes blazing with fury. "Tell me everything." Amanda walked around the bar and sat down next to Harleen.

"If the boss asks, you beat it out of me." Harleen's fists stayed clenched, her nails breaking the skin of her palms.

"When you were sent to Arkham, the boss went wild. He worked tirelessly to break you out, but his insiders told him that you had undergone so much electroshock therapy that your mind was essentially mush. You were non-responsive; a vegetable. The boss was lost without you at his side. He didn't leave his home for three months. He became practically catatonic. Then he got wind that you were awake. He also learned that the Arkham doctors in their infinite wisdom were reprogramming your mind, brain washing, whatever you want to call it. They were restoring you back to factory specs. The only thing the boss could stand less than losing his Harley was finding his creation had been destroyed and returned to Harleen Quinzel."

Harleen rubbed her neck and couldn't help but feel hurt that she was a sub par version of this Harley goddess. "Wait, how do you even know the Joker? How do you know all this?"

"I'm Johnny's ex wife," Amanda replied like that little fact didn't matter. When Harleen looked at her with wide eyes, Amanda added, "We still get along. He tells me things." Harleen nodded. "So then what happened?"

"The boss went on a crime spree that has rarely been seen in this city. He didn't steal. He did nothing that was of any advantage to his operations. He just destroyed things and took lives. The boss has killed many people, but it has always been a means to an end. This was the only time I had ever seen him go out and kill for the sake of killing. It was chilling to behold. A couple more months passed and the insiders told the boss that you had been released and set up in your own place as some sort of experiment. That's when I got a phone call. The boss told me to find you and set you up in my bar. You didn't think that wanted ad in your mailbox was a coincidence did you?"

Harleen allowed a small smirk to play on her lips. "May I assume you only printed one of those ads?"

Amanda smiled. "You assume correctly. I'm glad that letter worked. I didn't really have a plan B to be honest. That's the great thing about Gotham. Fate and coincidence seem to be stronger partners than Batman and Robin."

Harleen finally unclenched her fists and folded her hands on the bar counter. "Okay so I come to work for you so what? So you could keep an eye on me?"

Amanda nodded. "The boss wanted to know how much you had changed. That's why Johnny came by to see you. I had only ever met you before in passing. Johnny knew you quite well. He reported back to the boss that you still had the Harley spark in you. I also may have told Johnny about the fight you broke up as well."

Harleen remained quiet for a moment then replied in hushed tones. "I saw the Joker after that fight. I guess he wanted to see me with his own eyes." Harleen began to chuckle to herself. Amanda smiled wanting to be let in on the joke.

"I kicked him square in the balls that night." Amanda let out a loud guffaw. "You do know how to ingratiate yourself to a guy. Anyway, after the bar burned down this place was the safest place to keep tabs on you."

Harleen remained motionless, reflecting on the events that had occurred earlier.

"So if Joker was so broken up about me being gone, why does he seem to hate me now that I'm back?" Amanda twisted her mouth, not sure to what Harleen was referring. "Look hunny. Here's the thing. You're not the boss' Harley Quinn anymore and that kills him. You're different now. Back then; you were like a little girl following him around like a puppy dog. You absolutely worshipped the ground he walked on. Johnny told me it would drive the other guys nuts how he would smack you around and you'd come running back for more. You're more serious now, far more cautious and calculating. Who can blame you after what you've been through?" Amanda put a hand on Harleen's shoulder. "He's still hurting hunny. You don't know him or any of us and all he has are reels of memories that you no longer share. But everyday he gets to see you and be reminded all over again of his loss."

Harleen stood up off her bar stool. "But why did no one tell me? Why the secret?"

Amanda shrugged. "The boss told us not to say anything. Your presence in the world was to be protected above all else. Before you went to Arkham, you had a hefty price on your head. The boss has a lot of enemies who would love nothing more than to deliver pieces of you in boxes to his doorstep." The thought made Harleen shudder. "That's why it's so important that we keep you safe."

Harleen lowered her head. "Does it even matter? I don't think Mr. J cares if I'm alive or dead."

Amanda chuckled which raised an eyebrow on Harleen. "Sorry hunny. He hasn't been called Mr. J since you got taken. He does care hunny. I think deep down he still can't live without you and even deeper down he's glad to have you in his life in whatever form that may take."

Harleen rubbed her neck and sighed. "So, what do I do now?"

Amanda stood up and put her arm around Harleen. "Do your job and maybe remind him that you are still Harley Quinn, but a new and improved version." Amanda winked and returned to the bar.

Harleen returned to her office and slumped in her chair. _How can I remind Mr. J that I'm still Harley when I'm not even sure who Harley is?_ Harleen stared at her porcelain hands and turned them over slowly. _I'm Harley. I am Harley Quinn. My memories may be missing and my personality forever warped, but she's inside me somewhere._ Harleen heard a tiny voice inside her. _Trust your instincts._ Harleen closed her eyes and soon her mind was filled with the Joker's laughter and his Cheshire grin. His cackle was worse than any drug to Harleen. She lived for that laugh and smiled as her imagination filled her head with his laughter. Harleen would do anything to hear that music again and to see his devilish grin. Letting her mind sink deeper into her subconscious, Harleen began to recall the dreams she had been having with the clown prince. _They're not dreams. They're memories._ Harleen grinned impishly. She knew exactly what to do now, but it would have to wait until tomorrow.

If Harleen gave it any sort of thought, her deep and abrupt feelings for the Joker should have scared her. But since this had already happened once before Harleen felt this was her attempt to return to the status quo. After carefully applying her red lipstick, Harleen inspected herself in the mirror. She made some quick adjustments to her red and black halter top and smoothed it into her black skirt. She dusted off her long, leather boots and with a bounce in her step she was off to the club.

Harleen had only been in her office for a couple hours working on the payroll when she heard a great commotion below. She could see out her window that Joker and his men had bust into the club, but while most of the men remained on the floor, Johnny went to the bar to fix a couple scotches, and Joker disappeared into his private booth. Harleen grabbed a few papers, snuck down to the bar and made her way to Johnny.

"What's got his feathers in a fluff?" Johnny sighed as he quickly knocked back his drink.

"We were working a job last night and the Bat got involved. Put four of our guys in the hospital. Boss is still pissed about it." Johnny turned to deliver the Joker's drink when Harleen put a hand on his arm and took the glass from his hands. Johnny looked suspicious, but shrugged as Harleen turned around to make the delivery.

Harleen caught sight of the booth interior as she got closer and saw old blue prints scattered all across the table with the Joker running his hands through his disheveled hair. His shirt had tears in the shoulders and most of the buttons were missing leaving his chest open; obviously still wearing his clothes from last night. As Harleen parted the beaded curtains that led to the Joker, he startled and aimed his gun right at her head. Harleen smiled and let forth a tiny giggle.

"Don't hurt me," she snickered raising her hands in the air. "I'll be your friend."

Joker sighed and returned his gun to its holster. "Rough night?" Harleen leaned against the door frame. Joker's eyes darted to her form and then back to the table as he sat down. "Have you just come to annoy me or is there a point to your existence?"

Harleen ignored the job and waltzed into the booth to stand across from Joker on the other side of the table.

"Actually I came here to bring you your drink," she said as she very deliberately leaned across the table to place the glass in front of Joker. His eyes landed exactly where she intended.

"And I've come to discuss my contract," Harleen grinned as she lay her papers across the table. Joker nearly choked as he took a swig of the scotch.

"Contract? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, you don't expect me to work for free do you Mr. J?" Harleen made her eyelashes flutter as she smiled innocently. Joker looked at the proposal quickly before scrunching it up and throwing it to the corner of the room.

"You're not one of my regular employees kitten. You will want for nothing, but you're not drawing a pay cheque from me. That's not how this works." Harleen slunk towards him, swaying her hips back and forth as she approached.

"What do you mean by want for nothing?" Without thinking, Joker slid one of his hands up and down the back of Harleen's thigh. She struggled to hide her arousal.

"What I mean pumpkin is that everything you have ever wanted will be yours. I will provide you with anything your little heart desires, but you are never and I mean NEVER to go to the bank to deposit a cheque like a regular citizen." Joker's voice lowered until it was barely above a whisper. "Even as you are now (and I know you know who you are) you are far from regular."

Harleen put on a playful pout. "But I want now Mr. J." Joker's lip upturned as he pushed Harleen's knees so she buckled and sat on his lap.

"And what is it that you want kitten?"

Harleen giggled as she stroked her finger down Joker's jaw, then down his neck and along his collarbone. She slowly lowered her face to meet his and then ever so gently, she took Joker's bottom lip in between her teeth and ran her tongue along its edge. Joker growled and grabbed Harleen by her waist, pulling her firmly against him. He hungrily kissed her like a man starved. Harleen smiled as she returned the fevered kisses, granting Joker's tongue instant entry to her mouth. She let out a soft moan as Joker's tongue accessed every corner. Joker withdrew and seeing his blond with closed eyes, he let out a deliberate and slow laugh. That was Harleen's fix. She snapped her eyes open and gasped at the heat she was generating. She bit her lower lip and giggled, which made Joker feel ever more uncomfortable in his pants. With a low growl he flipped Harleen backwards so she was lying on the booth as Joker climbed on top of her. His passion overcame all gentleness as he grabbed her breasts roughly, forcing the top of her bra to peak over her shirt. Harleen kissed and bit whatever skin she could reach as she arched her back, trying desperately to find some relief for the heat between her thighs. Joker lowered himself onto her as he began to grind his hard against her soft. Harleen was seeing stars. Joker's laugh melted in Harleen's ears as he licked and bit at her lobes, sending electric shocks of ecstasy through her veins.

Harleen grew impatient and reclined slightly to start removing Joker's belt and undo his pants. Just then there was the sound of moving beads. Both Harleen and Joker flashed angry looks towards the intruder. Johnny stood at the entrance desperately trying to find somewhere else to look. Without moving Joker growled, "Someone better be dead Frost."

Johnny cleared his throat. "Uhm boss our boys just got released from the hospital and they're being transported to Blackgate. If we're going to retrieve them, we've got to go now." Joker sighed, but got up, readjusting his belt and doing up his zipper. Harleen sat and uttered a loud and annoyed sigh. Joker flashed her an angry look and went to follow Johnny. Just before he left the booth, a hand grabbed his arm and whipped him around as Harleen's lips crashed against his own. Joker grabbed her waist as they shared one last moment of passion before he turned to take his leave. As she watched him walk out the door, Harleen leaned against the doorframe and breathed in deeply. _Asphalt and aftershave._


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi Everyone. Thanks for all the support and follows and favourites and things. I really do appreciate it.  
I hope you enjoy this chapter. A couple of random things are mentioned but I'm setting up stuff for later (as usual haha)**

 **Quick warning, a bit of violence awaits at the end so…yeah. Skip that bit if brain fragments make you uneasy. :)**

Several days had gone by since Harleen had last seen Joker and it made her heart very heavy. Memories of their exchange in Joker's private booth made Harleen tingle all over. She held onto that memory as tightly as a child would grasp their security blanket. One day she asked Amanda where Joker and the boys were keeping themselves to which Amanda had smiled and replied, "Well with the love of his life back in action, the Boss has been keeping himself pretty busy."

Harleen had been touched by the thought until she had seen the news and realized Batman had returned to hunting in the shadows after a two-week hiatus. _His one true love._

Harleen hung around the club that night later than she normally would, hoping for her Mr. J to show up, but when midnight rolled around and there was no sign; Harleen sighed and put on her coat to leave. She headed down the street to where her car was parked and as she came around the corner she let out a yelp. Her car was gone. _Who the hell would steal that piece of crap?_ Harleen silently apologized to her car for calling it a piece of crap. Angry tears filled her eyes as she looked around for her ride home. _Maybe I parked it somewhere else._ She looked about frantically, but to her dismay her long term partner was gone. _When one love appears, another fades._ Feeling utterly defeated, Harleen trudged back to the Knife Edge. Her heart lightened slightly to see Eddie dutifully standing guard over the front entrance.

"Hey Harleen. What's wrong? You don't look so good."

Harleen's shoulders fell. "Someone stole my car." Eddie's eyes grew in alarm.

"Oh my gosh. Are you okay? Were you hurt?" Harleen shook her head.

"No, it was gone before I got there." Eddie sighed in relief, but grabbed his cell out of his pocket. "Let me call you a cab." Harleen smiled at her friend and hung out at the entrance until the yellow beacon arrived. A shiver spread through Harleen. She had not expected to find herself standing out in the night this long and her coat was woefully inadequate. Eddie glanced over as Harleen crossed her arms and rubbed her biceps trying to get heat with friction. Eddie immediately came to her rescue and removed his own oversized coat and draped it over her shoulders. Without saying a word, Harleen smiled her thanks and wrapped the giant garment tightly around her. Eddie nodded and returned to his post, politely telling the unwanted to scram. The coat surrounded Harleen with comfort and safety. She breathed in its scent. _Aftershave._ _Not quite the same._ Before long, a yellow cab pulled up to the entrance being driven by a very nervous looking driver. Harleen pulled herself away from Eddie's coat and returned it to him. As he draped it over his arm, Harleen stood on her tiptoes and kissed Eddie's cheek. Eddie cracked a dopey grin as his cheeks flushed. Harleen giggled as she jumped into the taxi and drove off into the night.

The dim light of her living room lamp welcomed Harleen home. She hung up her coat and unzipped her long boots, releasing her tired, aching feet from their constraints. As she sat on her couch, Harleen stretched out her legs and pointed her toes, cracking her ankles. She leaned over and opened up her computer to find her email window open. There was a new message from Dr. Cassidy. Harleen sighed as she opened up the email.

-Harleen. I know that life can be busy sometimes, but we have missed two meetings now. We cannot afford to miss a third. I will be at your apartment at 9am tomorrow morning. It would be in your best interest to be present. If I cannot trust you to make your weekly meetings, we may have to consider relocating you closer to Arkham or within the walls permanently.

Yours sincerely,

Dr. Sarah Cassidy

P.S. Dr. Sharp will be accompanying me for your visit.

Harleen rubbed her neck. She definitely didn't want to go back to Arkham. She was just starting to enjoy her new freedom. Harleen's thoughts drifted back to her message from Joker. She had been brushing off Dr. Cassidy the past couple weeks because she couldn't think of a decent way to get rid of her. Harleen knew that Dr. Sharp wanted to keep close tabs on her so he could collect his prize down the road. And to top it all off, it seemed that the old codger was coming to her humble abode tomorrow as well. Harleen never had much interaction with the head of the asylum, but from what she could remember he was a creepy old man with wandering eyes and lingering hands. Maybe Harleen hoped, maybe if Dr. Sharp saw how well Harleen's outside life was progressing; he would relieve both Dr. Cassidy and Harleen of these increasingly awkward visits. _Fat chance._ Harleen hit the reply button.

-Dr. Cassidy. My apologies for missing our visits. Work has kept me busier than usual as I undertake new tasks. Because having steady employment is part of my becoming a contributing member of society, I hope you can find the ability to forgive me. I will be happy to welcome you and Dr. Sharp into my home tomorrow.

-Harleen

The passive aggressiveness of her reply nearly made Harleen gag, but she grinned as she hit send and closed the lid to her laptop. She was just about to jump into her shower when her phone buzzed. The short buzz meant it was a text and Harleen nearly ignored it, but then thinking it may be someone from the club or even better news about her car, Harleen stepped out of the bathroom and grabbed her phone. One message lit up her screen.

Don't be late for your doctors. –J

Harleen threw her phone against the pillows on her bed. _Nosy bastard._ Harleen pushed all thoughts from her head as she turned on the shower and sighed contentedly as the scalding hot water burned away her apprehension about the coming day.

The sun was just beginning to peak through the curtain when **BEEP BEEP BEEP**. Harleen rolled over, slammed the alarm into silence and stretched across her bed, smiling at the sound of cracking joints. The regular morning monster greeted Harleen in the dress mirror. _I look like a crazy person._ Harleen chuckled at the thought of leaving her hair as is, but thought better of it and grabbed a brush to tame the beast. Once Harleen was satisfied with the humanizing of her head, she turned to her closet and stared blankly at her choices. _What says normal?_ Harleen stood in her matching purple bra and panties with nude stockings and selected a green blouse and black pencil skirt. After carefully applying just enough makeup to give the illusion of rest and relaxation, Harleen admired the new creature in the mirror. _I look normal enough to run the damned asylum._ She giggled at the notion, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. Harleen quickly smoothed her skirt and trotted over to welcome the doctors.

"Hello Dr. Cassidy. Nice to see you Dr. Sharp." Harleen faked the hospitality as best she could as the two doctors walked inside. Dr. Cassidy gave Harleen a warm hug, but Dr. Sharp remained silent as he surveyed the apartment with a superior look of mild disgust. Dr. Cassidy broke the tension.

"It's good to see you Harleen. I'm sorry to hear about the Jack and Ape burning down."

-"Yeah me too. Luckily I found quick employment. Amanda gave me a good reference."

"I'm glad to hear that you've been hard at work. That's wonderful that you've been given added responsibility. I hope your new boss appreciates you." Harleen giggled slightly at the mention of her boss, but covered her mouth to hide her smirk. Dr. Cassidy and Harleen continued with their innocent machine gun conversation while Dr. Sharp snooped around the apartment. As he entered her bedroom, Harleen moved to stop him, but bit her tongue not wanting to give any indication of abnormal or aggressive behavior. She felt the stubby doctor was just trying to get a rise out of his prized patient. Dr. Cassidy gently put a hand on Harleen's shoulder. "Don't worry," she whispered. "He's not quite convinced that our therapy is progressing like I claim. He's looking for guns and explosives hiding under your bed." Harleen forced a smile as she assumed that was the appropriate response. _Just keep smiling. Just keep smiling._ The two women turned their conversation to the weather and how nice it was to be able to go outside without sleeves when a gruff voice interrupted them.

"Your rose is dead." Harleen and Sarah turned to find Dr. Sharp in the kitchen staring at the vase. Harleen rubbed her neck nervously. "Oh yeah. I hadn't noticed."

Dr. Sharp straightened up and shifted his glasses. "You should throw it away." _How about I throw you away._ Harleen bristled at the thought of discarding such a beautiful gift. Even in death, the now dried out rose was a mysterious reminder of what once was and was now forgotten.

Harleen was desperate to shift the conversation. "May I offer you doctors something to drink?" Harleen asked gesturing towards the living room trying to get Dr. Sharp away from her treasured flower.

Dr. Sharp shook his head. "I'm afraid Dr. Cassidy and I won't be around long enough for that."

"Truer words were never spoken." The two doctors and Harleen jumped at the addition of a fourth voice to the conversation. There stood the one man neither doctor wished to ever see again and the one man Harleen never wanted out of her sight. The Joker was leaning against the open doorway, one ankle crossed over the other, and two gloved hands resting in the crooks of his elbows. His purple coat fell just above his knees, which blended seamlessly into his matching pants. His orange dress shirt peeked above his green vest and was hitched at his throat with a similarly dyed green tie. On anyone else this outfit would look…well…clownish, but to Harleen it looked magnificent. The quartet stood in silence; three of the four pulses racing. Joker stepped forward.

"Well Miss Quinzel, as the mistress of this home it is only polite that you invite me in to sit and chat." Joker clicked his tongue to bite out the last word. Harleen moved to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair.

"Forgive me Mr. Joker. Please, have a seat." The two doctors gawked at Harleen as Joker bowed and took the offered chair, spun it around and sat backwards. Joker drummed his fingers on the back of the wooden chair.

"My my, it's been a while since I've been in the presence of this many doctors. In fact last time I faced such a committee, it was you three AHAHAHAHAHA!" Joker threw his head back and laughed so hard at the memory, he had to hold onto the back of the chair to prevent himself from falling over.

Dr. Sharp straightened his glasses. "What do you want Joker? If you want Quinzel, just take her and get out." Harleen and Dr. Cassidy both gasped. "Hey thanks a lot Doc." Joker smiled and clicked his tongue.

"Now now Sharpster you're getting to the climax ahead of me and that's very naughty. How does Mrs. Sharp live with the disappointment?" Dr. Sharp clenched his fists, but luckily stood in front of Harleen so he missed her smirk. The snigger wasn't lost on the Joker as he again clutched the chair trying to hold his balance through his laughter.

"You don't scare me," Sharp growled through clenched teeth. Suddenly Joker kicked back his chair and stood to his full height, towering over the dumpy doctor.

"Are you going to let me monologue or not?" Joker yelled. Without warning, Joker's hand flew beneath his coat to take out a strange looking gun, which he then swiftly aimed into Sharp's neck and pulled the trigger. An airy, injection sound was followed by Sharp dropping to the floor, grasping his neck in pain.

"Honestly, some people have no appreciation for the lost art of super villainy." Dr. Cassidy and Harleen both stood back with looks of alarm and bewilderment. Joker seemed nonplussed as he squatted down beside Sharp balancing the gun in his hand as if he were trying to guess its weight.

"Let me draw you a picture Sharpie. See, this gun was a gift to me from our dear friends at Belle Reve. You remember that prison? I blew it up to get that one," Joker gestured with his free hand towards Harleen. "I went to a lot of trouble to get her out of that cesspool. Do you have ANY idea how many panda suits I went through? And what the humidity did to my hair…took three bottles of conditioner to get me back to the handsome devil you see before you." Joker's laughter filled the entire apartment with choruses of giggles. Harleen was sure her neighbors were wondering what the hell was going on. Joker wiped the tears from his eyes and returned to his monologue. "Long story longer, it took a great deal of effort to get back what was most prized to me. However, the result was sadly temporary as you took my Harley from me again. To make matters worse I find out that you and your little friends took it upon yourselves to poke and prod and electrocute and drug what never belonged to you in the first place. You stole from me and that is something I simply will not tolerate." Dr. Sharp's eyes widened as he continued to hold his neck. "But you can take her now. She's all yours. Take her now and we'll never tell anyone. We'll just report she ran away and be done with it."

For the first time since he appeared in the doorway, Joker looked angry.

"THAT is not Harley. THAT is the result of your torture methods. My Harley is gone forever." Tears ran down Harleen's cheeks as she burned with fury. She had never hated an invisible figure so much as she did this Harley Quinn.

Joker's eyes glazed over with rage. He gripped Dr. Sharp by his tie. "GET UP!" Joker had to hold up Dr. Sharp as the old man's legs were too wobbly to support anything. Joker held the doctor's face close to his own. "You know what's in your neck don't you." Dr. Sharp nodded as a single tear fell down his cheek. Joker flipped the gun and returned it to his right shoulder holster. In the same movement he took out a tubular device with a big red button on top. He stared deep into Sharp's eyes as his thumb massaged the button. His voice lowered to a whisper.

"No one touches my stuff." With that, his thumb depressed the button and Sharp's eyes widened as his head was blown clean off his shoulders. Harleen felt the spray of blood and brain matter spatter across her blouse and face. Dr. Cassidy screamed as she too was covered in bits of doctor. Joker dropped the headless corpse nonchalantly and made his way to the sink, returning the button to his jacket pocket.

Harleen was stunned. She couldn't take her eyes of the former Dr. Sharp. Her frozen state was thawed when she heard clattering in her kitchen. Joker was throwing out all her pill bottles. _My friends._ She ran over to the clown prince, but didn't try to stop him.

"What are you doing?" He gave her a frustrated glance.

"What are you dense? This is a kidnapping, but first I have to get rid of your little friends here." Harleen felt a rising sense of panic as one by one her little soldiers met their fate at the bottom of the trash bag. Joker removed the garbage bag, tied it up and slung it over his shoulder as he made his way to the door. Harleen instinctually followed him, but stopped when she heard Dr. Cassidy.

"DON'T MOVE!" Dr. Cassidy yelled as she held a taser gun at Joker. Joker began to giggle. "Oh please Sarah. You really think you're going to have any impact on me with your little toy? I pack more punch in my hand buzzers." Dr. Cassidy didn't move. Harleen frowned as she slid her arms underneath Joker's jacket and around his waist. She felt like a child looking for protection. Joker didn't seem to take any notice of the fresh intimacy. He was too focused of the taser gun.

"This will zap you with enough juice to render you unconscious long enough to put you back in Arkham, but I bet they'll just throw you in Blackgate and melt the key." Joker smiled and turned back to the doorknob. There was a buzzing sound as tiny nodules attached themselves to Joker's coat causing him to vibrate and cackle loudly. A gunshot echoed through the apartment and Sarah Cassidy dropped to the floor, a hole leaking blood with her left eye should have been. After a few moments, Joker stood up and dusted off his sleeves. "I told her it wouldn't work. I…" His voice drifted off when he looked over to see Harleen still gripping his gun, the smallest amount of smoke emanating from the barrel. Joker felt his left holster where that gun should've been and couldn't help but feel a little impressed with Harleen's quick reflexes.

Harleen could barely breath as she slowly lowered the gun. She couldn't remember killing Sarah. She could only think that someone was trying to hurt her Joker. Joker left his garbage bag where it was and pulled out his phone. "Hey Frosty. Clean up aisle 5." He returned the phone back to his pocket and moved towards Harleen. With uncharacteristic gentleness, Joker removed the gun from Harleen's hand and balanced it in his own. With his other hand he turned Harleen's head towards his and tipped her chin up so that her eyes met his. Harleen looked up at her clown in shock and awe as Joker gently wiped a stray tear from Harleen's cheek. He bent his head towards hers and let his lips contact hers in the most loving kiss she had ever received from anybody. Joker's gun hand slipped around Harleen's waist as he pulled her in closer and deepened the kiss. All of Harleen's anxieties melted away. She felt so at home in his arms that not even the two dead bodies could enter her mind. Joker pulled away and smiled as he once again brought his gun hand around and balanced the weapon in his palm.

"But like I said kitten, this is a kidnapping." With that, he struck Harleen hard across her head with the butt of the gun. Harleen's legs crumpled as her sight dimmed into darkness, the smell of asphalt and aftershave forming one last memory.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi Everyone. Thank you so much for all your kind words and feedback. It really means the world to me that you all seem to be enjoying reading this as much as I love writing it. This has been tremendous fun for me.**  
 **Anyhoo…sorry this chapter is pretty short. I hope you like it, but be forewarned. It's a violent little morsel. :)**

 **P.S. Big thanks to the kind soul who pointed out that when I posted this chapter, it came out in code. I think I got them all, but please let me know if there are additional mistakes.**

The stench of wet, dank concrete filled Harleen's nose as she came to. Her head ached from the base of her neck to the top centre of her head. Harleen tried to rub her head, but quickly realized that her hands were wrapped round her neck in what felt like a straight jacket. _Oh right…it was a kidnapping._ Harleen paused and tried to take in her surroundings. She was lying on a cold surgical table. She could feel the harsh steel against the backs of her legs. _So my clothes are missing. That's great._ Harleen tried lifting her head, but realized that while the rest of her body felt free, her forehead was strapped tightly to the table. In shaking herself, she felt that her ankles were chained together. Gazing down, straining her eyes, Harleen took comfort that she at least had her underwear still on and the straight jacket provided some modesty. _That's not terribly comforting, but I'll take it._ Her eyes shifted to either side of her head and a pigtail greeted Harleen on each side, one dyed red, and one dyed blue. _Oh what in the actual fuck, how long have I been out?_ Harleen took several deep breaths and tried to collect her thoughts. The room was dark with only a sliver of artificial light peeking through the only door in the room. _Must be underground._ Harleen could just make out a few tables in the corner that held various instruments of persuasion. A shudder went through her body as Harleen tried not to imagine how those tools might be used. After a few minutes of quiet observation, Harleen found her trick. Beneath the index finger on her left hand, there was the smallest hole in her straight jacket. She slowly began working her fingers through the hole, smiling as the fibers slowly began to tear and loosen.

Suddenly Harleen heard a switch flip and her entire body shook as electricity passed from the strap on her forehead down through all her limbs. She cursed herself for showing weakness, but Harleen could not hold back her paralyzing screams. As quickly as it started, the switch flipped again and Harleen's body returning to a calm.

"I'm sorry pumpkin, did that hurt?" That voice made Harleen shiver with excitement for which she uttered another silent curse. Her heart began to beat even faster at finding herself in such a vulnerable position with her clown prince standing over her.

"I asked you a question. I will not take silence as an answer." Joker's voice grew louder with rage as his fingers danced over the convulsion switch. Harleen's voice cracked as her throat was devoid of all moisture.

"You hit that switch again and you'll turn my brains to puddin'." Joker's fingers hesitated. "What did you say?" Harleen's laugh was low and slow. Joker growled and slapped Harleen hard across the face. Her lip split and a warm trickle of blood began to flow down her chin. Harleen's tongue darted out and licked up the red aphrodisiac. Something in her snapped and Harleen lost all conscious thought as her giggles increased in speed and pitch. As Harleen's laughter increased, Joker's ire grew and he hit the switch again, sending shocks through Harleen's already convulsing body. Joker walked away, leaving his blond convulsing as Harleen's laughs turned to screams. As he turned to his table to assess his collection, Harleen slid down the table slightly, freeing herself from the forehead strap. She continued screaming so as not to arouse suspicion and to also cover the sound of the final ripping of the sleeves of her straight jacket. Joker turned back with a wide grin, holding a small paring knife in one hand and an ice pick in the other.

"Perhaps if I can't shock some sense into you, maybe a good old lobotomy will do the trick." Joker walked slowly towards his victim laughing as his kitten writhed in agony. Just as the clown came into Harleen's vision, Harleen took a deep breath and lifted her legs to her chest and kicked out for all she was worth, feeling Joker's nose smash beneath her heel with a satisfying pop. Joker bent forward and stumbled backwards allowed Harleen a moment to leap off the table and free her left arm from the jacket. She looked down and saw Joker's ice pick lying on the ground. Within seconds she had seized the weapon and run over to the Joker, kicking him backwards onto the ground and driving the pick as hard as she could into his shoulder. Joker let out a pained grunt and then flooded the bunker with high-pitched cackling. This Harleen was far more dangerous than any Harley he had ever met. Harleen leaped off of Joker and returned to a safe distance but not before Joker rammed his paring knife into her calf. They both retreated to opposite corners and retrieved their respective bits of metal that were embedded in each other. Harleen grimaced as she removed the knife from her leg. She gripped it tightly in her one free arm and stabbed it into her right sleeve. With two free arms, Harleen felt now she at least had half a chance of taking down her ace of knaves.

Joker flipped the ice pick in his hand carelessly as he cracked his neck from side to side.  
"Love the hair Harls. Is it new?" Harleen spat out a mouthful of blood and smiled.  
"You know Mr. J? You really should invest in some new restraints rather than these worn out straight jackets. The joke gets old real fast." Joker growled and spun the ice pick quickly in his hand like a baton.  
"Noted pumpkin. Let's dance." With a low growling laugh, Joker ran full bore at Harleen. She readied her stance, staggering her feet, knife in hand. Just as Joker neared her, ice pick in the air, Harleen jumped up and struck Joker in the neck with the chain that connected her ankles. The drop kick forced Joker to the ground and Harleen pinned him with her full body weight crushing his lungs. Joker's giggles were quickly silenced with a few quick punches from the angry blond straddling him. Harleen pressed the knife into his throat.  
"Why are you doing this?" she asked between gravelly breaths. Joker grinned from ear to ear.  
"Just for a laugh." He pushed his free thumb into Harleen's leg wound, causing the newly clotted blood to crack and fresh blood to gush out. Harleen winced and jumped back, but not before she slashed at Joker with her knife, opening up his cheek. Joker also jumped back, rubbing his cheek with one of his purple-gloved hands.

"You've got a little fight in you. I like that." Joker and Harleen backed away from each other and dropped their weapons. Harleen cracked the knuckles in her hands while Joker removed his shirt and placed it delicately on a chair in the corner. Harleen saw an opportunity and grabbed long flaying knife from the table and ran at Joker as fast as her injured leg would allow. "I'll cut your god damned heart out you bastard!" Harleen screamed. Just as she raised her knife to attack, Joker whipped around and grabbed Harleen by her neck, shoving her painfully against the cold mossy wall. A shiver ran through Harleen as the icy wall made harsh contact with her burning skin. Joker held her throat tightly by one hand and squeezed her wrist with the other until the knife dropped.

"Now then kitten. That's no way for a couple to settle their grievances." He punched Harleen in the previously slapped cheek, making the new bruise sing in anguish. While Harleen was seeing stars, Joker picked up her knife. He gently traced Harleen's features with the tip of the blade, running it along her eyebrows, down her nose, and across her lips, letting the blade drag her lower lip away from the upper. Harleen never broke her gaze from his.  
"You know pumpkin. I can't help but notice all my beautiful works of art have been removed from your now remarkably clear skin." Harleen struggled and kept trying to kick at Joker wherever her chained feet could reach. Joker soon stopped that by stomping in the middle of her chain, pinning her feet to the floor. Harleen's eyes flashed fire as a growl stirred from low in her gut. Joker chuckled slowly as he tapped the knife to his bottom lip.  
"You know Harleeeeeeen, I think I kind of like you this way. All piss and vinegar. No room for rainbows and lollipops anymore…you're more like me than I am." Joker brought his face so close to Harleen's that his bloodied nose was dripping onto Harleen's face. Naturally, she reached up and bit the tip. Joker laughed and stabbed Harleen forcefully through the straight jacket, just about her left breast. The knife stopped when it hit bone. Harleen gasped, but maintained her own toothy grin. Joker closed the gap and kissed Harleen hungrily, continuing their violent foreplay. Harleen couldn't help but melt into the kiss, licking the inside of Joker's mouth, tasting his blood mixing with her own. Her muscles tensed once more as she felt Joker dragging the embedded knife through her flesh, carving a ragged J into her chest. Harleen broke off the kiss as her breath hitched within her throat. Joker let out a growl.

"I'd like to see those Arkham assholes remove that." He pushed the heel of his hand into the fresh wound, making Harleen cry out in pain. Joker finally let go of Harleen's throat and she crumpled to the floor in a bloodied heap. Her vision blurred and her head felt weak. She felt nauseous until the Joker knelt in front of her and tipped her head up with a finger under her chin. He gently kissed her forehead.

"You know what kitten? You have surpassed my expectations. If you don't die tonight, I just might let you live through tomorrow." Joker stood up, turned on his heel and walked towards the doorway. A small smile crossed Harleen's lips as she noticed Joker walking away with a slight limp. As he opened the door, the room was temporarily flooded with light and Harleen could see the full extent of their destruction. Pools of blood (mostly hers) danced on the floor and silvery knives and hammers lay about resembling a messy child's bedroom.  
Harleen couldn't help but smile to herself as she slipped into unconsciousness.

 _I passed._


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi Everyone. Sorry this is a bit of a short chapter, but I hope you still like it.** :)

When Harleen awoke, her head pounded even harder than before. _Ugh I'm going to need a cat scan after all this._ She shook her senses slowly and took in the darkness. As Harleen tried to stand, pain radiated from her chest and spread through her body, making her knees buckle as she fell back to the ground. Harleen winced as the scabbed blood on her straight jacket broke and fresh blood began to seep through. She gingerly pulled off the jacket, which tore off the remaining clotted blood. A pained gasp escaped Harleen's lips as she removed her bra to evaluate the damage. The dark J was deep and purple. The bruises were swelling and spreading down her ribcage. Harleen was covered in purple splotches and stab wounds. The cut on her calf was emitting a heat so intense that it travelled up to her hip. Her cheek was so swollen it partially blocked Harleen's sight on the one side, which was a nuisance since her opposite eye was completely swollen shut. Through her obscured vision, Harleen saw Joker's shirt was still sitting on a chair, blessedly spared from the previous violence. Harleen hobbled over and gently eased her arms through the sleeves, doing up only the middle three buttons. The scent of the Joker invigorated Harleen and made her breath hitch, which sent a new wave of pain cascading through her body. Slowly, but steadily Harleen limped her way to the door. It was unlocked _thank goodness_ so Harleen creaked it open and made her way painfully up the stairs.

As she emerged on the other side, the light filled the new room and Harleen held her hand up to allow her eyes _well…eye_ to adjust. She found herself in an ordinary kitchen. Harleen couldn't believe anything in the Joker's compound could ever be ordinary, but this looked like any other kitchen in any other house except for one major difference. At the raised kitchen island, Joker sat on a bar stool with needle and thread in hand and was carefully stitching up his own shoulder. He was so focused he didn't seem to notice Harleen standing there watching until she leaned on the door frame for support, causing it to creak slightly.

Joker looked up and gave a half smile. A full smile would have opened up his cheek again. Both eyes were bruised, one also swollen shut. He sat there shirtless and Harleen couldn't help but be filled with personal pride at the damaged physique that greeted her. It seemed now Joker was more purple than not.

Joker nodded towards the sink counter and Harleen took his cue. She walked over slowly and grabbed the pack of cigarettes and the lighter that sat there. She gently pulled out one of the smokes, placed it tenderly in her mouth and lit it, taking a long, mellowing drag off of it before reaching across to Joker and placing it in his mouth. Holding the cigarette between his lips, Joker then moved his eyes to the stitch job on his arm. Again without saying a word, Harleen placed her finger on the last stitch in his shoulder, while Joker pulled the thread tight enough to snap it. He placed the needle down and withdrew the cigarette from his mouth, exhaling the tranquility inducing smoke from his split lips.

Joker stood up quietly from his seat, which made Harleen straighten up in hers. He walked over to the cupboard and pulled out two glasses and a flask of something strong and golden. Without saying a word, Joker poured a generous amount of elixir into each glass before sitting down again and sliding one over to his blond adversary. Harleen sipped the drink gratefully until she looked over and saw Joker drawing out a new length of thread and sending it through the needle. He tapped her shoulder gently. Harleen shot back the rest of the numbing drink and undid the buttons of her shirt. She allowed the shoulders of the shirt to fall, exposing her J wound, but that was all she felt like exposing right now.

Joker tried to laugh at her modesty, but the pain in his body would only allow a grimace. Harleen took a sharp intake of breath as the needle made its first puncture into her skin, but after that the pain of the threading barely compared to the rest of the agony overwhelming Harleen's senses. For reasons that eluded her, Harleen felt oddly comforted by this display of compassion from Joker. True, he was the reason she needed to be stitched up in the first place, but she couldn't help feeling secure in the closeness of his face to her own. His eyes focused on the task at hand and once the J was a nice, tight bunch of even stitches, he again nodded and silently Harleen placed her finger on the last stitch and Joker pulled. Harleen's fingers danced over her new mark, feeling a strange sense of security in this permanent display. Joker put the needle on the counter, flicked his cigarette into the sink, and pulled the shoulders of his shirt back over Harleen, covering the wound. He then stood up tall and made his way to the door out of the kitchen, waving Harleen over to join him. Harleen leaned on the island for support, but made her way over to her clown as quickly as she could. Joker bent forward slightly in front of Harleen and next thing she knew, she was gathered in his arms bridal style and Joker was making his way up a set of darkened, ornate stairs. Harleen wanted to laugh at the seemingly romantic gesture, but her energy had faded by then and all she could manage was to wrap her arms around the neck of the Joker and rest her head carefully on his uninjured shoulder. As they made their way down the hall, Harleen closed her eyes and let her fingers slowly twist locks of the Joker's green hair, marveling at the softness. With the hand used to hold up Harleen's legs, Joker leaned down and opened a large door to the master bedroom. Harleen's eyes stayed closed until she was deposited softly onto a large four poster bed. Harleen braced herself up on her hands, but her wrists buckled in pain and she fell back. Joker ignored her gasps and entered another room, which turned out to be an en suite bathroom. Harleen heard taps turn on and soon steam was creeping out the door like a bunch of newly released spirits. It wasn't long before Joker reemerged and leaned back against the doorframe. With a half smile and crossed arms, he motioned with his head for Harleen to follow. She delicately got off the bed and made her way to the bathroom. A deliciously large bathtub, filled to the brim with hot water and bubbles greeted Harleen's tired eyes. Her heart jumped in anticipation of feeling the restoring waters wash over her. Joker appeared in front of her and as he snaked his arms around her waist, he brought his forehead to hers. Both stood in silence, eyes closed with weariness before Harleen felt Joker's long cool fingers snaking their way under her panties and carefully pulling them down her thighs. Harleen brought her knees close to allow the garment to fall to the floor. Next, Joker's hand crawled up Harleen's back and smoothed their way over her shoulders and underneath the now blood stained shirt. As he exposed Harleen's bare shoulders, she shifted her weight and allowed the shirt to fall to the ground, releasing herself completely.

Surprisingly to Harleen, Joker's eyes never left her own as he led her to the bathtub and held her hand as she walked up the steps and the settled herself into the water, allowing herself to be consumed by bubbles. Harleen's eyes closed and her lips parted as she was overcome with the heat from the water. All her pain, blood, and bruises melted into the healing liquid. It had been years since Harleen had felt such peace. Harleen's eyelashes fluttered as she felt another presence enter the water. A smile stretched across her face as she felt the Joker's strong arms envelope her as he took his place in the tub behind her. She leaned into her clown prince as one arm wrapped around her stomach and the other came up from underneath her breast and across her chest, ever mindful of her cut.

Before Harleen could drift away into slumber, she felt Joker's lips gently brush against her ear and kiss her softly. As Harleen allowed herself to fall asleep, she heard Joker whisper the first words to her since their incident in the dungeon.

"Welcome home."


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi Everyone. Okay so nothing really happens in this chapter, but I had to write it to get to the other stuff.  
It's also crazy long for a chapter where nothing happens. Buuuuuuuuut I hope you guys like it all the same.  
Thank you so much for following and favouring and all that good stuff. I hope to make it worth your while.**

Harleen's eyes fluttered open and she let out a deep sigh as soft fabric brushed against her skin. She allowed her eyelashes to part slightly and she took in the darkness of the bedroom. Harleen stretched her limbs out gently, cracking the stiffness out of them, then pulled the soft blankets back over her and returned to sleep. When she woke up again, Harleen straightened herself out and sat up in the bed. The bedroom was draped in darkness, but the room was filled with the familiar scent of her clown prince. Harleen cringed as she leaned over to turn on her bedside lamp. Her arm retracted in pain. Harleen's fingers danced over her skin, assessing the recovery. She smiled softly to herself as she felt fresh gauze bandages on her chest and around her calf. Very gingerly, she stood up and made her way to the dress mirror on the other side of the room. The cool air bit her skin and caused Harleen to shiver. She gazed at her naked reflection clinically, pleased that her eye was starting to find light beyond the swelling and that while most of her body was covered in bruises, they had settled themselves in and had begun the rainbow healing process. Harleen looked about her for evidence of life. She was alone. In fact, except for the memories of the previous night, Harleen could find no indication that anyone had ever been with her. Another shiver ran through Harleen as she felt the need to find clothing before her solitude was interrupted. She moved over to what Harleen thought was a closet door, but when she pulled it open, her mouth dropped to reveal a huge walk in closet full of female attire. _Were these clothes all mine?_ Harleen stepped inside to a place that had a slight musty smell about it, like she was stepping inside an undiscovered tomb. The thought made Harleen shudder, but her curiosity overcame all other feelings as her hands danced across the custom and expensive fabrics.

Satin gowns, taffeta masquerade costumes, and sparkling dresses filled one side of the closet. Harleen gazed and smiled at the lace and beaded bodices that filled her eyes with colour. As she turned to the other wall, Harleen couldn't help but let out a giggle at the contrast. Flooding the opposite wall were mostly torn t shirts and shorts, some stained with paint, some stained with God knows what. Harleen thumbed her way through the shirts, most having been customized with some sign of love for the Joker. The writing she found familiar, but it was the font of her ten-year old self. _Man, what kind of girl were you Harley Quinn?_ Harleen felt she was looking through the wardrobe of a stranger and had to constantly remind herself that these clothes must have belonged to her. Harleen found the dresser against the back wall and was pleased to find it stocked with new undergarments. She put on a matching red ensemble and then turned to try and find an untouched shirt. Lying folded neatly in the corner on the bench were some new tank tops and t shirts that must have been awaiting painting when she had been taken. Harleen found a black one and slid it on for a perfect fit. Harleen thumbed through the shorts and landed on a plain pair of denim cutoffs. _I guess I never believed in pants._

Once dressed Harleen returned to the bedroom to asses her image once again. It was at that point she realized her hair had been smoothed out and redressed into pigtails. _Oh brother._ Harleen removed the hair ties and smoothed her hair back into one ponytail. She had to admit, she kind of liked how the blue and red strands mingled. Harleen went into the bathroom to freshen her face and was delighted to see assorted lip sticks and eyes shadows waiting for application. _Are these his or mine?_ Once her face passed Harleen's inspection, she felt ready to leave the bedroom and see if there was life on the planet.

The corridors that opened from the bedroom were long and narrow. There were no other rooms on the floor but the master bedroom. _Figures this would be a funhouse._ Harleen travelled down a few stairs and around a corner at which point the house opened up. The stairs led to a balcony that overlooked a large sitting room which was covered in dark wood and warm lights. Another hall snaked from the balcony down which Harleen heard voices. As she followed the sounds, the voices became one voice and that voice was angry. There was only one room on this floor too. The hallway was dark, the only light was the sliver that escaped from under the door. Harleen drew closer, but just as her hand reached out for the door knob, the door was flung open and a group of four bandaged goons came trundling out, unconsciously pawing at their wounds. Each threw a small smile to Harleen as they passed with Johnny exiting last. Johnny looked Harleen up and down and smiled.

"You did good work on the boss," Johnny chuckled as he passed. Harleen giggled to herself, but just before Johnny disappeared down the hall, he paused and turned around.

"I'm glad you're back Harl. This is the happiest I've seen Him in a while." The two exchanged grins and Johnny disappeared to attend to the men.

Suddenly Harleen felt very unsure of herself. Something told her she was not supposed to enter, but she also felt like she had no choice. She smoothed her clothes over and over again and fanned herself to cool her flushed face. Summoning all her courage, Harleen knocked gently on the still open door and waited for an invitation to enter. As she peeked around the corner, Harleen saw her Joker sitting at a large oak desk, writing frantically with white pencil on a fresh blueprint. When she realized that her knock had done nothing to arouse Joker's attention, she rapped on the door again a little harder.

Without looking up from his work, Joker growled, "What are you waiting for? An invitation?"

Harleen tilted her head. "Actually yes." Joker put his pencil down and looked up at her rather stunned.

"Well that's a first." He waved her in, then picked up his pencil and continued to sketch. Harleen quietly came in and shut the door behind her. The office was massive and Harleen couldn't help but giggle at the sight of smashed statues and knives sticking out of the wall. _This is the happiest you've seen him Johnny?_ In front of Joker's desk resided two leather chairs, so Harleen snuck up and placed herself in one directly in Joker's field of vision, crossing her legs under her and awaited instruction.

Harleen sat quietly and watched Joker work. His tongue was firmly clenched between his molars as he drew and erased parts of his next plan. Harleen shifted uncomfortably in her seat, feeling suffocated in the silence.

"What are you working on?" she asked in a small voice.

"Nothing," shot back Joker. Harleen clicked her teeth together.

"It looks like something." Joker slammed down his pencil.

"What do you want?" Harleen jumped at the noise. She cleared her throat.

"Well I don't know what to do. What did Harley do?" Joker sighed and ran his fingers tightly through his hair.

"She would generally spend her days flitting around the house annoying me, so you're following in her foot steps just fine."

A pout formed across Harleen's lips. "I don't mean to annoy you. I'm just confused as to what I'm doing here." Joker let out a loud roar, stood up from his desk and ripped his blueprint to shreds. With bits of blue paper fluttering in the air, Joker turned his back to Harleen and again smoothed his hair back with his hands. He leaned his elbow against the wall and rested his head on his arm.

Joker sighed. "How's the cut?" he whispered.

Harleen raised a hand and let her fingers dance along the edge of her shirt. "It's beautiful."

Joker scoffed and pushed himself off the wall and began to pace the room. "Look kitten. It's not that I don't want you around, but I've got my own problems to worry about and I don't have time to entertain you like a spoiled brat kid." His anger was rising again, which in turn drew ire from Harleen.

"I'm not asking to be babysat. If you need space, let me go to the club and work. I'd be there today anyway." Joker kept his back to Harleen, but placed his hands on his hips and lowered his head.

"JOHNNY!" Loud and quick thumps were heard coming up the stairs and soon Johnny appeared in the doorway. "Yeah boss?" Johnny asked slightly out of breath.

"Take my little bookkeeper to her books." Joker whipped around and pointed a long finger at his top henchman. "And come straight back. We have work to do." Johnny nodded then stepped aside to let Harleen pass from the room. Harleen scowled at Joker and he met her gaze with equal contempt as she left his office.

After wandering down the stairs, Harleen followed Johnny to the garage, only stopping to grab a pair of ankle boots and her red coat that somehow had found its way to the house.

The garage door hummed open as Harleen jumped into the passenger seat of Johnny's black Bentley.

"So that's him happy is it?"

Johnny grinned. "Well we're all still alive so yeah…that's the boss on a good day."

Harleen nodded, staring out the window as Johnny peeled out onto the road.

"He's a touchy sonofabitch that's for sure." Johnny broke out with another creaky laugh, which made Harleen smile. The pair remained silent for the rest of the trip, but unlike in Joker's office, this silence was peaceful and allowed Harleen to zone out and watch the buildings pass by in quiet meditation.

Once they arrived at The Knife Edge, Johnny escorted Harleen into the club to find Amanda, Eddie, and the dancers getting everything ready for the evening's activity. Harleen laughed to herself as she watched the dancers begrudgingly attempt to stretch whilst dressed as harlequins. It hadn't escaped Harleen's attention that she too had a similar costume hanging in her giant closet back at the house. Amanda and Eddie were chatting with each other, but both stopped once their eyes focused on the state of Harleen. Eddie ran over to Harleen's side immediately.

"Oh my gosh Harleen. What happened? Were you mugged?" Harleen had almost forgotten about her skirmish with the Joker. She smiled and patted Eddie on the shoulder. "Nah, but you should see the other guy." Harleen walked away from a baffled Eddie and an Amanda who was trying to hide her grin.

Harleen's thoughts returned to her ever confusing clown as she made her way up the metal stairs to her office. _Does he love me? Is that even a thing for him? Did I pay the plumbing invoice?_ Harleen unlocked her door and entered her very own fortress of solitude. She sat down behind her desk with its faithful but rather dim lamp and rubbed her temples. Upon opening her eyes, Harleen examined the new papers that had appeared in her basket since she had been gone. _I did pay it. Here's the receipt._

Harleen cracked her knuckles and her neck then got down to work.

Harleen hid in her office for most of the evening balancing the books while the club exploded into full operation. It wasn't a bad place to be when the music was blaring. Harleen danced around her office as she filed papers in different cabinets. She swayed her hips, following the bass and dropping down to the bottom drawer in step.

Just then there was a sharp tap on the door. The door opened before Harleen could answer either way. Amanda poked her head round to find Harleen.

"Heya hunny. Wanted to let you know the boss has just arrived." Harleen gave a smile and nod as Amanda's face disappeared only to reappear a second later.  
"Nice work by the way. It must have been a battle for the ages."

Harleen chuckled slightly. "I hope I surprised him." Amanda burst out laughing. "Oh I'm sure you did hunny. Not since Batman have I seen anyone lay a whoopin' on the boss like that." Harleen smiled as she heard Amanda's chuckles resonate up the stairs.

The music now was faster and lighter, so Harleen spun back and forth between cabinets as she grabbed various files. Again, a knocking at her door interrupted her private dance party. She sighed. "WHAT?"

A shaky hand opened the door as Eddie peaked round the corner. "Hey Harleen. Uhm, can I come in?" A small wave of guilt swept over Harleen for yelling at her friend. "Of course Eddie. Sorry. What's up?"

With a sense of relief, Eddie stepped into the office, holding a makeup bag and a black dress on a hanger.

Harleen leaned against her desk. "Sorry Eddie. I don't think it's you, but a bit of mascara might really make your eyes pop." Eddie let out a nervous giggle. "The boss said that you shouldn't be dressed the way you are in his place. His words not mine," he added quickly. Harleen rolled her eyes, but then looking at her torn shorts thought "The Boss" might be onto something. She grabbed the makeup and dress, but stopped Eddie as he tried to leave.

"Wait here Eddie. I don't have a mirror in here so you have to stay and tell me if I get lipstick on my teeth." Eddie looked incredibly nervous. Harleen sighed. "Just wait outside and I'll let you know when I'm ready." Breathing a sigh of relief, Eddie nearly ran through the door to escape. Harleen shook her head and chuckled to herself.

The dress was beautiful if Harleen was going to be honest. It was a black halter dress that shimmered red diamonds. Harleen released her hair from its ribbon and let it fall gently about her shoulders. She took out the makeup, touched up her lips and eyes, and added a bit more powder to cover her bruises. The gauze from her J just poked over the neckline of the dress, but it would have to do for now.

"Okay Eddie. You can come in now." Eddie stepped in and couldn't help his jaw dropping. Harleen put her hand on her jutted out hip. "What do you think?"

Eddie looked her up and down for an eternity before a wide smile plastered itself across his face. "You don't even have lipstick on your teeth." Harleen laughed and punched Eddie gently in the arm. Eddie bowed playfully. "May I escort the queen to the bar for a libation?" Harleen covered a giggle with her mouth and then raised her head haughtily. "You may sir." Eddie smiled and hooked Harleen's arm in his own and escorted her out of her office and down the stairs.

As the pair made their way towards the bar, Harleen caught sight of Joker's private booth. An elegantly dressed man sat in the visitor's chair who Harleen didn't recognize. He was almost completely grey, but had taken proper care of himself and his suit said money. Because he was in the company of the Joker, Harleen knew that this was a man up to no good, but his relaxed features and posture suggested that he was also not a man to trifle with. Only powerful men even pretended to relax around Mr. J. As she continued her journey to the bar, Harleen's blood boiled. Sitting in her Joker's _HER JOKER_ lap was a blond with legs that would make a giraffe jealous. She was wearing a long off the shoulder black dress and rested one hand across his collar bone while her other fingers were spinning through locks of green hair. Although it seemed that Joker's attention was on the man in front of him, he certainly wasn't protesting the presence of the female in his lap. Harleen's fury radiated off of her as Eddie pulled her along and to the bar. Amanda slid over a gin and tonic and Harleen took it back in one gulp. Eddie leaned his back against the bar.

"Her name is Alicia Hunt. She's the current girlfriend of Carmine Falcone."

Harleen turned to Amanda. "Wait. Is he the bastard that burned down your place?"

Amanda shook her head. "No it was his bastard son Mario. I imagine that's what they're discussing now. Carmine has given most of the control to Mario, but that little slime is running amok."

"Hang on. Hang on." Harleen held up a hand. "If Alicia Hunt is Falcone's girlfriend, what in the blue hell is she doing on Mr. J's knee?"

Eddie shrugged. "Peace offering I guess." Amanda threw a hand to her hip. "Don't you have a door to watch?" Eddie smiled sheepishly and nodded. Just before he left, he stopped and turned to Harleen.

"If it's worth anything Harls, you're a knockout. You could take that dame any day of the week and the boss would be a fool to think otherwise." Harleen smiled, reached up and gave Eddie a kiss of his cheek.

Amanda shook her head. "That boy is going to get himself into a heap of trouble with the boss if he keeps on like that. And you," Amanda pointed a finger in Harleen's direction, "you get yourself back to your office and pray that the boss didn't see your little affectionate display." Harleen laughed and got up to return to her office.

As Harleen climbed her stairs, she stole one last glance at her clown prince. He had his arm firmly around Alicia's waist and his eyes were fixed on Harleen. The fury returned to Harleen's eyes as she tried to explode Alicia's head with her thoughts. A long grin spread across Joker's face as he licked slowly up the neck of his blond companion, never breaking his gaze. Harleen jumped up the few remaining stairs and slammed her door shut.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi Everyone.  
Thank you so much for all the kind words guys. It's so kind of you to take the time to say hi and what you think. Thank you very much.  
In response to the question "Will Joker get away with this behaviour?" The answer is of course he won't.  
Read on…oh and violence warning ahead…and smut warning for after. :)**

 _That little bitch! Who does she think she is?_ Harleen ran to the back filing cabinet and opened up the middle drawer with a bang. She had noticed early on that this set of drawers held personnel files on every employee and associate that had worked for Joker. Harleen flipped through them on the off chance there was a connection. Sure as hell, Harleen's fingers danced through the Hs and found HUNT, ALICIA in old typewriter font sticking out among the files. Harleen felt her heart rate rise as she pulled out the dusty file and set it on her desk. The file was thin, containing nothing more than a few old newspaper clippings and photos. Harleen studied each piece carefully. Her worst suspicions were confirmed. Alicia was an ex. She had jumped ship to Joker from a former business partner. If the dates in the articles were to be believed, Alicia was hooked up with Joker for almost two years. Harleen seethed and also felt rising frustration, not knowing how long her relationship with the Joker had lasted. She wasn't sure if two years was nothing, or if two years was something to be jealous over. _Doesn't matter. Bitch gotta die._ Harleen sat in her chair and brought her fingers together in front of her face. _No…killing Alicia would ruin whatever relationship Mr. J is trying to cultivate with Falcone. I'm sure a dead Alicia is not part of the plan._ Harleen straightened up in her chair as an internal light bulb clicked on. _Doesn't mean I can't send a message though._

Harleen smoothed her dress. "Oh Jokey…stop…that tickles." Alicia's high pitched giggles could be heard over the loud music of the club and Harleen thought she was going to lose all composure right there and then. _Jokey? Ew_

Harleen searched for an excuse to go to the Joker's booth. She knew that if she just waltzed in there, Mr. J would be furious and kick her out before she could make a move. She needed an in. Harleen's chance arrived in the form of a harlequin waitress who was carrying a plate of drinks towards the private booth. Harleen ran up to the visibly nervous girl and offered to take the drinks over herself.

"Gosh, thanks Ms. Quinn. I'm not ashamed to admit, the boss scares the hell out of me."

Harleen smiled. "That's a very sane response." The girl nodded meekly and walked away as quickly as such a ridiculous costume would allow. Harleen took a deep breath and made her way to the beaded doorway. Without saying a word, Harleen entered the booth and began placing the drinks on the table. She bowed low towards Falcone as she placed his scotch in front of him. This did not escape the attention of the Joker, but although he let out a low growl, Harleen also noted that his arm never left Alicia's waist. Harleen formally placed Joker's scotch in front of him and nearly broke Alicia's bubblegum pink drink by slamming it on the table. Joker smirked, but Alicia didn't seem to notice.

"Hey Jokey. I need to powder my nose. May I use the ladies?" It was all Harleen could do not to vomit right there. Joker grinned widely.

"Of course pumpkin pie. And this young lady will show you where it is," Joker gleamed gesturing to Harleen. Harleen stifled another gag. She put on a Brooklyn accent as thick as Amanda's and played along. "Sure thing Mistah J. I'll show the lady to the powda room."

Joker's eyes burrowed in the back of Harleen's head, trying to guess at the game. Harleen led Alicia through the beads, but not before shooting a narrow eyed glare back at the green haired jester.

Harleen was pleased to see that they had the place to themselves as they entered the bathroom. As Alicia reapplied her make up, Harleen leaned against the sink counter.

"So, that Mr. Falcone sure is a handsome fella. You're a lucky gal."

Alicia turned her head slightly and scoffed. "He's all right I guess, but he's losing his power in Gotham. I've got my eyes on bigger fish." Harleen crossed her arms and tried to play dumb.

"Oh yeah? Who ya sinkin' your hook into these days?"

Alicia flashed an arrogant grin. "Well if you must know, I'm taking aim at your boss. We used to have a thing years ago, but he never really got over me. In fact, he's only dated blonds since if you can believe that."

Harleen's stomach flopped as she pushed all her anger deep down into her gut. "I thought he was still with that Harley Quinn character. Aren't they pretty serious?"

Alicia tilted her head back and let out a high-pitched laugh. "What, that idiot? Oh no. That one was just a distraction. She was just some ditzy psychiatrist that J thought he could manipulate into doing his bidding. And boy was he right. She was putty. She worshipped him, took all his abuse and came crawling back for more. It was pathetic. But at the end of the day, she was a convenience, nothing more. Hell, when she got taken in, J didn't even bother to look for her."

Alicia's words stung, but Harleen added it to her overflowing bottle of fury. "Where is she now?"

Alicia shrugged. "Who cares? All I know is that with that blond bimbo out of the way, I can sink my teeth back into the King of Gotham and become his queen."

Alicia reached into her make up bag and pulled out a bright red lipstick. "You know it's funny. I don't know why I'm telling you all this, but for some reason I feel totally at ease with you."

Harleen smiled sweetly. "Must be my bed side manner."

Alicia turned to Harleen. "Oh, you a doctor?"

Harleen also turned to meet Alicia. "I'm a psychiatrist." Alicia's eyes opened wide with terror as Harleen grabbed the back of her head and bounced it off the sink again and again and again. Blood spattered on the mirror and along the counter. Harleen laughed loudly as a tooth went flying across the floor. Dazed and confused, Alicia staggered towards the door, but Harleen grabbed her by the shoulders and spun the broken blond straight into her closed fist. Alicia dropped down unconscious. Harleen grabbed the makeup bag and pulled out a pointed, metal nail file. She rolled up Alicia's dress and began to dig it into the flesh of her inner thigh. After blotting out the excess blood with a paper towel, Harleen stood up and washed the file, then gingerly put it back in the bag, snapping the clasp closed. Alicia came to and looked up to watch Harleen smoothing out her hair in the mirror.

"What…what's happening?"

Harleen turned nonplussed to the bloody mess on the floor. "Well first this." Harleen punched herself in the face, causing blood to trickle out from her mouth. Alicia gasped in shock. _This girl's a_ _psycho._ "Then you are going to play along or you are never going to sink your teeth into anything. If you do, I'll pull them all out one by one and shove them down your throat. K?" Alicia nodded weakly and allowed Harleen to pull her up and rest herself on her shoulder.

"Mistah J Mistah J quick you gotta to help us!" Falcone gasped as he saw Harleen drag a battered Alicia into the booth. "My God. What happened?" Joker eyed Harleen suspiciously.

"Oh Mistah Falcone sir. It was terrifyin'. Miss Hunt was just touchin' up her makeup when these women came in. They said Miss Hunt owed them money or somethin'. One of them had this big knife. I tried to fight them off as best as I could, but they were too strong and…" Harleen broke down in tears. Falcone bent down to help Harleen up. "Now then my dear. You did all you could. I'm sure you fought very bravely. Alas as much as I care for Alicia, she does have a lot of enemies. Do you think you can remember what the women looked like?" Harleen nodded.

"They were big. All over six foot. They said they were with some guy…Maroni?" Falcone's clenched his fists. "That bastard," he whispered. In the meantime, Joker was grinning wider than Harleen thought possible. He made his way over to the dizzy Alicia when he noticed blood trickling down her leg. Without drawing attention, Joker carefully raised Alicia's skirt and saw jagged writing carved into her inner thigh. _DON'T TOUCH_ Joker let out a small yelp of delight, then regained his composure.

"Carmine my friend. I'm truly sorry for this unfourtunate incident. Those Maroni gals can be such trouble…very progressive, but terrible trouble."

Falcone nodded tiredly. "This happens more often than you think. Like I said, the girl's got lots of enemies. I should get her home. Thank you Mr. Joker for your hospitality and I will seriously consider what we have discussed this evening." Falcone waved two of his men in and they carried Alicia out with Falcone in tow.

Joker slumped into his seat and swirled his drink in his hand. Harleen tucked herself in close beside her clown prince and rested her head on his shoulder. Joker stared at the ice cubes in his drink, then finished it in one gulp. "Well…that was fun."

Johnny came in to find Harleen resting quietly against Joker's shoulder. If it were any other couple it would be considered endearing. Joker held his arm outstretched around Harleen with his free hand swirling the melting ice in his empty glass, lost in thought.

"Johnny, bring the car around. I think my little Harlequin has had all the fun she can handle for one evening." Harleen stirred at the sound of Joker's voice. She looked up at him with sleepy, loving eyes. "Hey you." Joker gently squeezed her shoulder.

"Come on kitten. Let's go home." Harleen smiled, stood up and smoothed her dress.

As they left the club, the doormen all stared straight ahead, hoping not to draw the attention of their boss. Just as they were walking out the door, Joker whipped around, grabbed Harleen by her throat and slammed her into the brick wall.

"If you EVER decide to take matters into your own hands again, I will flay you alive and cut your still breathing body into such tiny pieces, not even KC will find them."

Harleen gulped. "Yes sir."

"I still might if Maroni comes looking for the girl who set Falcone on him." Joker growled in anger and squeezed tighter as Harleen's eyes filled with tears. Not one man moved, but Eddie's fists were clenched so tight, his arms shook.

A long, sly grin crossed Joker's face as he eased his grip and let Harleen fall to the ground. She coughed and sputtered, feeling fresh bruises form on her throat.

"You coming or do you want to sit on the curb all night?" Joker giggled uncontrollably. Harleen growled and dusted off her knees as she made her way over to Joker. She stopped as her eyes gleamed at the Lamborghini rumbling its invitation. Joker opened Harleen's door and gestured for her to step in.

Harleen slid onto the soft, creamy leather and sighed as it caressed her bare skin. As Joker pulled himself into the driver's seat, he looked over and offered a look of confusion to Harleen's near orgasmic sighs. "You're not having a fit over there, are you pumpkin?" Harleen's smile was wide as she met Joker with dreamy eyes.

"Sorry Mr. J. I've always had a thing for fast cars and…I think I'm in love." Joker's low and slow laughter nearly sent Harleen over the edge. "Well then kitten. Why don't we consummate that love?" With that, Joker hit the throttle and the car peeled away from the curb with a gut pounding roar. The vibrations from the engine excited Harleen in a way that only one other being could. "Oh God, faster Mr. J…FASTER!" Harleen's back arched as Joker's laughter roared in tune with the accelerating motor. As they sped through the streets of Gotham, Joker moved his hand from the gearshift to Harleen's bare thigh. Her eyes closed as she let out a smoky moan. Joker continued to speed up. If they didn't get home soon, he was going to slam into a building. As distracting as Harleen was being, Joker couldn't help but continue to tease her. His hand moved slowly up and down Harleen's thigh, each time getting closer to her middle. Gently, his cold fingers lightly brushed her centre, which caused a loud whimper to escape Harleen's parted lips. Joker kept up his torment, never applying full pressure and only drawing his hand away to shift gears. Harleen could barely contain herself. Her fists were clenched and her teeth were drawing fresh blood from her bottom lip. Suddenly Harleen's eyes opened as she felt the car spin around in the middle of the road and back up violently. Within seconds, Joker had parked the car in the garage amongst the other vehicles in the collection. Joker was breathing hard as he killed the engine. "Get out. Now."

Harleen could barely breathe, but stepped out of the car in confusion. _Why is Mr. J angry now?_ As soon as her feet touched the concrete floor, Joker grabbed her by the hips and slammed her onto the hood of the car. Pressing his full weight onto her, Joker pushed Harleen flat against the angular hood and crashed his mouth into hers. His passion was almost more than Harleen could handle. Joker's tongue searched hungrily inside Harleen's mouth, fighting for possession against her own tongue. Harleen moaned against Joker's lips. He growled low in return. Joker bit his way down Harleen's neck as his hands painfully massaged her breasts. Harleen called out to every deity she could think of as Joker sucked harshly along her collarbone.

Joker grabbed Harleen by her hips once again and pushed her up, so that her back was flush with the windshield. He held her fast as his head slid down lower on her body. A skilled hand reached up Harleen's dress and he hooked her panties with a single finger and began to pull them down. Once the protective garment was satisfactorily discarded, a slow grin formed on Joker as he dipped below and began to kiss the inside of Harleen's thighs. Harleen arched her back in a weak attempt to keep her hips from bucking. To Harleen's great disappointment, Joker pulled his face away and stared intently at Harleen's thighs as if looking for clues.

"What's wrong Mr. J?"

Joker grinned slyly. "Oh nothing. I just wanted to see if you had any commands cut into your thighs as well or if that was a one off." Harleen tensed up at the mention of Alicia, but soon the tension melted as Joker bent down again to lick and bite ever closer to Harleen's centre. Suddenly she let out a yelp as Joker's tongue flicked against her clit. His giggles vibrated against her very being as he licked and bit her nerve endings. Almost immediately Harleen could feel herself reaching the precipice when she panicked and raised herself on her elbows.

"Mr. J please stop. I don't want to stain your Lamborghini."

Joker looked up and smiled. "Oh baby. I hope you do." With that, Joker returned to his work and Harleen fell back against the windshield with shortened breaths, feeling Joker's tongue slowly work its way between her folds and down to her entrance. Harleen screamed as Joker entered her and swirled his tongue around, pushing on all sides. Her screams made Joker laugh low and the vibrations sent a high through Harleen she didn't even know was possible. She could feel herself coming close to the edge, and then Joker grabbed her clit between his teeth and sucked hard, pushing Harleen off the cliff. All her muscles tensed at once as electric shocks shot through her body to the end of her fingers. "Mr. J," was all Harleen could get out between haggard panting.

Joker stood up, pulled a handkerchief from his breast pocket and gentlemanly wiped his face clean before folding it back into his jacket. He sauntered over to the side of the car and gently helped Harleen down to the ground. Her legs could barely function so she leaned on her jester for support. They made their way up the stairs to the master bedroom in silence. Just as Harleen reached for the doorknob, Joker pulled her into him and kissed her with a rare tenderness that Harleen treasured. Harleen sighed into the kiss as it deepened. Joker pressed his lips harder into Harleen and she knew he was ready for round two. She smiled playfully and reached down to grasp Joker gently where his trouser legs met.

"You take such good care of me Mr. J, will you allow me to return the favour?" Joker grinned his Cheshire grin and let out a growl that nearly took away the strength in Harleen's legs all over again.  
He opened the door to the bedroom and with an arm outstretched and a voice soft and low he purred, "After you kitten."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi Everyone. I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever. I'm also sorry that this is such a short chapter. It's just a small exchange between Harleen and Joker.  
I hope you like it anyway. Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and follows and favourites. You're all just lovely folks.**

Joker's cackling echoed off the walls as Harleen rolled her eyes so far into the back of head it hurt.

"What? You said you wanted to take care of me." Harleen shook her head in disbelief as she continued to massage Joker's feet. He lay back against the pillows on his bed with his arms neatly tucked behind his head. Harleen pushed her thumbs deep into the sole of Joker's left foot. "This isn't exactly what I had in mind boss." Joker chuckled quietly.

"Well Harls you can't always get what you want." _Did he just call me Harls?_ Harleen's heart leapt into her throat at the sound of the nickname. It triggered a strangely familiar comfort in her gut. Harleen knew that Joker was beginning to relax around her and maybe, just maybe, his old feelings for his new Harley Quinn were returning.

Suddenly Joker's giggles increased in volume and pitch. "THAT TICKLES!" His leg kicked straight out and Joker's foot struck Harleen square in the chest, causing her to fly off the bed with a thud. Seeing Harleen lying on the ground massaging the space between her breasts caused Joker to tilt his head back in laughter. His laughter was high and loud as he pointed at his poor bruised masseuse. Harleen's eyes darkened as her sore chest filled with rage. With an enraged roar, she jumped onto her feet then jumped onto the bed, pinning Joker to the mattress. Her hand clenched and swung forward, but Harleen missed, just grazing Joker's cheek. His smile widened, but the laughter died away. "All right baby. Let's play."

Gathering his knees beneath him, Joker kicked hard and pushed Harleen back off the bed, but this time she landed on her feet. Harleen stood with bent knees, ready to dodge whatever Joker was about to throw her way. He smiled as a flash of silver gleamed in his hand. _Where the hell did the knife come from?_ Joker gracefully vaulted off the bed and came at Harleen swinging his weapon back and forth, aiming for any bit of flesh the blade might slice. Harleen ducked and weaved like a trained boxer, carefully avoiding Joker's manic stabs. As Joker continued his assault, Harleen found herself backing up in the fight until her back hit the wall nearest the bathroom. Joker saw his opportunity and pinned her with his free hand. Gripping her throat tightly, Harleen's eyes filled with strained tears as Joker's grimace grew into a sadistic grin.

"Now kitten, are you going to come quietly?"

Harleen formed an evil smile on her lips. "Oh baby, you know I never come quietly." For a moment, Joker's grin dropped and his eyes widened at the surprise response. _His Harley never talked back._ Harleen saw her moment and whipped the knife out of her stunned clown's hand, spun it around and rammed it into his thigh. An agonized grunt escaped Joker's lips as he struggled to remove the sharp metal from his leg. As he pulled, Harleen looked around anxiously to prepare herself for the next onslaught. She looked over to the chair in the corner and spotted Joker's jacket and holster draped over the back. _That'll work._

A cry of success came from the clown prince as Joker stood holding the bloody knife. With crimson staining his pants, Joker ran towards Harleen with a final yell for battle. Harleen stopped him dead in his tracks as she held his own gun straight in front of his face, finger on the trigger. Joker raised his hands in defeat, then slowly walked towards her, closing the distance between them.

"You wouldn't dare. You don't have the guts." Harleen's hand trembled, but her finger remained on the trigger.

Joker's eyes went almost black like a shark's as his grin formed an angry sneer. "DO IT!" Harleen cried out and pulled the trigger.

A small –bang bang- flag flipped out with a tiny little pop sound. Harleen lowered her hand, stared into the barrel and then looked back at Joker. He smiled and lifted his hands with a shrug.

"Why do you even have a gun like this?" Harleen asked. She tossed the gun to the floor where the trigger hit and fired off a real bullet, making Harleen jump.

"Jesus Mr. J. You really are the craziest son of a bitch this side of Metropolis aren't you?" Joker tilted his head to the side and laughed and he walked over, picked up the gun and returned it to his holster.

A few minutes later, Harleen and Joker found themselves in the kitchen, Joker once again pouring two glasses of golden liquid, Harleen once again lighting a fresh cigarette. Swinging her hips slowly back and forth, Harleen walked over to Joker and bending low, slipped the cigarette between his smiling lips. Joker took the tube between his two fingers and before Harleen could turn away he grabbed the back of her head and brought her face to his, his mouth taking hers forcefully. She smiled beneath his kiss and returned it hungrily. Joker pulled away and returned the cigarette to his lips.

"A kiss and a smoke won't make up for stabbing me in the leg kitten." Harleen smiled as she unraveled a length of thread and prepped the needle. "You love it."

She knelt down next to Joker. "These pants are ruined right?" Joker took a long drag off the cigarette and let the smoke float out and swirl around his head. "Yeah I would say that." Harleen nodded and ripped the leg of the pants open. Joker chuckled lowly and then winced as Harleen began to stitch up his knife wound. The thread weaved in and out of skin in silence.

"Mr. J, there's something I've always wanted to ask you?"

Joker exhaled another round of smoke. "What's that kitten?"

"How old are you?" Joker giggled and waggled a finger in front of Harleen.

"A lady never tells." Harleen jerked on the thread, startling Joker.

"No, seriously Mr. J. Where are you on this mortal journey?" Joker scoffed as Harleen waxed poetic.

"Baby, I'm immortal." Harleen nodded thoughtfully and continued her work. The answer seemed to satiate her curiosity. As she finished sewing skin to skin, Harleen felt Joker sink a little in his chair. She looked up and found her clown prince staring at the butt of his cigarette, but he seemed to be looking through it, lost in his own head. When he did speak, his voice was low and without its characteristic glee.

"i'm on a journey that will never end. There's no grand destination for me. I've seen thousands of souls leap off at their stops to find their families and friends waiting to greet them. Hell, there are a lot of folks I've pushed off the train myself. So many people getting on and off their trains, but my train never even slows down. There's no one waiting for my arrival. My train just rides on the same loop of track over and over again. It will never derail nor change direction and it will never, ever stop. That's my immortal damnation…and his."

Harleen snapped the thread. "Whose Mr. J?" Joker butted out the last embers of his cigarette in the ashtray.

"Nice stitch work kitten; not as good as mine, but hey, perfection ain't easy." Joker finished the last of his drink and caught Harleen's sad eyes staring at him as he set his glass down. "What's with you?" Harleen lowered herself onto Joker's uninjured thigh and wrapped her pale arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. Joker's arm unconsciously wrapped around her waist, holding her in place.

"I love you Mr. J." Harleen closed her eyes and breathed in asphalt and aftershave.

Joker sighed. "I know you do kitten."


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi Everyone. Thank you for all the follows, and favourites, and reviews. I hope not to disappoint.  
Okay this is the first place where I will write from Joker's perspective. You'll see why in a minute.  
Hope you guys enjoy and have as much fun reading as I do writing. Oh yeah…smut leads us into this one so ye be warned.**

Harleen was standing in front of the dress mirror, brushing her soft, blond hair against her shoulder when Joker emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and wearing only a pair of wine coloured silk pajama bottoms. Harleen bit her lower lip as she felt her centre tighten, but tried to hide her excitement by returning to the mirror and her brushing. Joker slid in behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pushing his cool flesh against her back. His lips danced across Harleen's ear as he held her tight. "I could devour you right here," he purred. Harleen closed her eyes and leaned into his taut frame. A strong hand ran up and down her red and black lace negligée as Joker's lips pressed slow kisses against Harleen's neck. Harleen shuddered as electric shocks ran through her fingers. She dropped the brush on the floor and turned around to see Joker's darkened eyes consuming her very being. A stretching grin crept across his face as a low growling chuckle emerged from his chest, buckling Harleen's knees. She wrapped her slender arms around Joker's neck and pulled him close. Standing on her toes, Harleen reached up and whispered into Joker's ear letting her tongue dance across its ridge.

"Are you going to let me take care of you the way I want to?" Harleen gently bit Joker's earlobe as her feet flattened back out on the floor. Joker purred happily as he lifted Harleen's negligée, exposing her rear to the mirror. His hands travelled down and cupped her, squeezing with increasing fervor.

"Mmm…no kitten. I don't think there will be time for that." With that said, Joker scooped up Harleen in his arms and walked her over to the bed, depositing her rather roughly on the silk sheets. Harleen giggled lightly, which sent shivers through Joker. It angered him that she had such an effect so he pounced on top of her and bit her hard up and down her neck. Harleen gasped with each bite, but rolled her shoulders back and stretched her neck out for more. Joker slid one of the thin straps off Harleen's shoulder and pulled it down to her elbow, exposing her breast. He bent his head down and hungrily nibbled and sucked at the heated skin, each time causing Harleen to moan with impatience.

Joker smiled. "You know kitten, we have yet to consummate this new version of our relationship." Harleen smiled with closed eyes.

"Oh we have Mr. J. Thousands of times in my dreams." Another low growl emerged through Joker's grin. "And how was I?

Harleen sighed. "Unbe-fucking-lievable." Joker suddenly felt a pang of possessiveness over his blond bombshell. He didn't know how he could feel jealous of himself, but that was beside the point. In one move, Joker lowered the other strap and exposed the other, untouched breast.

"Well let's make those dreams a reality shall we?" Harleen giggled and nodded enthusiastically. As Joker turned his attention to the newly uncovered breast, his hand dipped lower and began making long strokes through Harleen's folds. His actions were met with high moans from his possession. As his fingers began to circle her entrance, Joker's thumb pressed against Harleen's clit, making the nerves explode with sensation.

Harleen's hips bucked. "Please…Mr. J….please…don't tease me."

Joker sat up on his knees, blinking with innocence. "Don't tease you? My dear Harleen, I would never think to tease _you_." Joker slowly reached into his pants and pulled out his ultimate tool for torture. Harleen's eyes widened as she began to pant in excitement.

"Come on Mr. J. I can't hold on." Joker's grin stretched from ear to ear as he leaned forward so his nose was touching Harleen's. He slowly guided his member along her folds and gently stroked towards her entrance with an agonizing sluggishness.

"MR. J!" Harleen cried out.

"No need to yell kitten. I'm right here," Joker feigned annoyance. He lowered his head and took Harleen's mouth in a slow kiss, gradually sliding his tongue into her mouth. Everytime Harleen tried to pull him closer out of desperation; Joker would push himself back up, just out of reach. Harleen growled in frustration when there came a sharp knock at the door.

Both figures on the bed ignored the sound. Joker returned to the torture of his victim. A louder knock attempted to break Joker's concentration. He smiled and began to leave a trail of slow, deep kisses down Harleen's neck and collarbone.

"Boss, it's me Frost. We've got a situation."

Joker stared at Harleen smiling with dark, shark eyes. "Yeah Frost I kind of have a situation here too." Harleen giggled as Joker kissed her lips and continued to tease her entrance.

"Boss, it's Batman."

Joker's smile fell. "What about the Bat?" His eyes didn't leave Harleen's, but their colour had returned and she knew their playtime was about to end. She could hear Frost shifting his weight in front of the closed door.

"He's looking for Falcone. He's terrorizing the whole club. As usual he's too late to the party, but his bullying is bad for business."

Joker roared, "Don't tell me what's bad for business you buffoon!" He had already placed himself back in his pants and was up and going for his clothes. "I've hired more security and bouncers than anyone in Gotham. Why can't you goons look after a tiny bat?"

Frost shifted again. "Well boss…the boys that did take him on are still unconscious. Besides, the Bat has always kind of been your specialty." Joker smiled thoughtfully as he pulled on a fresh dress shirt. He turned to Harleen with a smile and shrugged. "We have always brought out the best in each other." Harleen pulled her straps back up so she was covered. "Can I come along Mr. J? I'd love to see you in action against the flying rodent." Joker did up the button on his dress pants.

"No pumpkin. You stay here while I take care of my pest control problem." Joker began to walk towards the door when Harleen huffed and jutted out her lower lip in a pout.

"Harleen, put that lip back in your face or I'll cut it off." Harleen corrected her expression instantly, but was not happy about being left behind.

"Aren't you going to take your gun Mr. J?" Joker opened the door and laughed.

"My gun? Oh sweet, stupid Harleen. One does not take down gods with the instruments of mere mortals." With that, Joker left Harleen alone in the bedroom. She could barely hear Joker and Frost talking as they descended the stairs. There was the faint sound of engines roaring to life and as the duo sped off into the night. _How can he call Batman a pest and a god all in one breath?_

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE KNIFE EDGE

"WHERE'S FALCONE?" The caped crusader searched the eyes of the patrons for any indication of someone withholding information. Eddie nursed his head, which was also sporting a fresh black eye. He had never faced the Gotham vigilante before. The guy was a lot angrier than Eddie had pictured. All the bouncers were lying about in various forms of disarray. Eddie was the only one who hadn't been knocked out. He sat on the bar stool while Amanda handed him a bar towel full of ice. He gratefully accepted and placed it on his aching head. They both hoped Johnny would return soon.

Suddenly relief was felt when they heard the screech of tires and the slam of car doors. The vault entrance to the club burst open triumphantly as a smiling Joker stepped through with Frost behind him, looking ready to kill.

"Batsy, Batsy, Batsy. I'm so pleased you decided to stop by my little establishment. If you had called ahead I would have been here myself to welcome you." Joker spun around to see his broken patrons breathing a sigh of relief at his presence. _That's a first._ "Although I see you've made yourself at home. So, to what do I owe the pleasure?" As Joker drew closer, the Bat retreated backwards, but remained silent.

"Come now old friend. Don't be shy. Tell your old pal Joker what's troubling you and perhaps I can find a remedy." Batman froze in place and still said nothing. As Joker came closer, he noticed that his old nemesis was shaking and his eyes were wide with what looked like fear. Joker's eyes narrowed as he studied the dark knight.

"Frost?" Johnny appeared by Joker's side immediately. "Yeah boss." _I hate when that brat is right._ Joker casually reached into Johnny's coat and pulled out his revolver.

As he pointed it at the Bat, the cloaked figure raised his hands in front of his face and shouted for mercy before Joker pulled the trigger and the Batman fell limp to the ground. The crowd gasped at the cold brutality of it. Even Johnny couldn't believe what he witnessed.

Joker lowered the gun in disappointment. "Close the place down for tonight Frost." Johnny turned to the gathering group and escorted everyone out the door with the help of Eddie. Once the place had emptied and even the dancers had been kicked out, the remaining bouncers, Amanda, Eddie, and Frost joined Joker as they stared at the fresh body.

Amanda stood next to Joker. "I can't believe you killed him." Joker knelt beside the body and knocked the arm of the corpse with the gun, producing an odd clanging sound. He slowly walked over and ripped off the mask to reveal a kid, no more than twenty. A gasp of confusion washed over those gathered.

One of the now conscious bouncers scratched his head. "I don't understand boss."

Joker leapt up. "THIS… ISN'T BATMAN YOU …IDIOTS! This is just some dumb kid in a steel suit. So points to you," Joker exclaimed pointing at Eddie, "for staying with the land of the wakeful. You must have a head like concrete." Eddie tried to hide his goofy grin at the compliment.

"Now then," Joker tried to regain his composure by slicking back his hair, "What was this pitiful pretender looking for?"

Amanda stepped forward. "He busted in through the front door and started punching people asking after Falcone. Then when that was a dead end, he started asking for you."

Joker pointed the barrel at Amanda. "Well there's your first clue. My Batman never uses doors. I think their simplicity offends him." Frost crouched beside the body as if looking for clues.

Joker rubbed the back of his neck impatiently. "Got something you want to share with the class Frost?" Johnny painfully got back up to his feet. "Well it's pretty clear that this guy whoever he was wanted you, not Falcone. He just used that as a reason to cause a disturbance." Joker nodded like that was old news and waved the gun, directing Johnny to continue. Johnny cracked his knuckles. "If the guy wanted to get you boss, why would he want to lure you into a crowd of people and your own men?"

"Cuz he's a moron?" Johnny shook his head. "He wasn't luring you to something but away from something."

Joker kicked the body, then slicked back his hair again in frustration. "From what Frost? Getting me here would be the last step in isolating something. They knew that Batman would be the only thing to bring me back to the club and away from…shit." Joker suddenly took off towards the door with Frost loyally running after him.

They both jumped in Joker's car and tore off back from whence they came. _That stupid, stupid, stupid girl._


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi Everyone. I'm so sorry that this took so long to write up. I hope you all enjoy it.  
I noticed that when I posted my last chapter, my story didn't show as being updated so if you're reading this going 'what the heck is going on?' then you may have to go back a chapter.  
Anyhoo...I hope you like it. :)**

The Lamborghini screamed to a halt outside the house. Rain was beginning to fall as Joker raced out of the car and burst through the open front door. Frost slowly followed behind, stopping to run his fingers over the busted wood from where the door had been jimmied open. The sight that greeted Frost as he entered the house was one out of a B horror film.

Lamps were smashed and blood was spattered over every wall. Frost counted three bodies in the front room alone, all with their heads smashed in and their innards painted along the walls and floors. This was not an unusual scene to Frost so he calmly approached each figure and tried to deduce who they were.

In the meantime, Joker was flying around the house frantically first to the basement, then up to his office. As he came out of the master bedroom, he slid down the stairs and collapsed into the giant leather chair in front of the fireplace as if nothing was out of place.

"Safes are safe," he sighed, giggling to himself as if he just figured out why they're called safes.

Frost slowly stood up and wiped the blood from his hands with the handkerchief from his coat pocket. "They look like Falcone's men boss."

"Well of course they're Falcone's men. They're all dressed like they just walked off the set of a gangster movie. Even I'm not that old school."

Frost returned his handkerchief to his pocket. "But they've all got new iPhones."

"I guess the Apples don't fall far from the tree eh Frosty," Joker let out a loud cackle. As the laughter died down, Joker settled back into his chair. "They're Mario's little boy scouts."

"They took Harleen with them?" Frost asked deadpan.

Joker sat up suddenly on the edge of his chair. "No shit Colonel Obvious!"

"Captain Obvious boss."

-"Shut up!"

Frost looked about him. "Well I think it's safe to assume that she's still alive. She put up one hell of a fight."

"Of course she did. She's my creation, _my perfect creation_ , but she took some shots. I can smell her blood all through the house," Joker growled as he arose and began pacing. He paused to kick one of the bodies hard in the gut.

"How dare these miscreants feel that their barbaric blood is worthy to mix on _my_ floor with her creamy, sensual essence!"

Joker slumped back into his chair while Frost stood in the doorway in silence. He remained still while Joker meditated, lightly tapping his gloved fingers together. Slowly and quietly, a terrible laugh began to creep across the room. It rose in volume until one could almost feel the paintings on the walls begin to shake. Joker leaped out of his chair and spun around, jumping over and around the corpses.

"Johnny, gather the boys. We're going to go crash a party."

Harleen woke up with a splitting headache. She tried to rub her temples, but quickly realized she was tied to a chair. _I'm really getting sick of this kidnapping thing._ Adjusting her eyes to her darkened surroundings, Harleen took in the sight of blank concrete, but instead of smelling its familiar dankness, Harleen's senses were overpowered with strong aftershave and hair gel, albeit very expensive aftershave and hair gel. Harleen hung her head trying to remember what brought her to this new dungeon. She gasped when she realized her clothes were different. She was dressed in the same costume that the Knife Edge dancers were wearing. Harleen was now a Harlequin. _Really getting sick of this too._ Looking to the edges of her eyes, Harleen also noticed a black mask covering the top half of her face. Harleen remained as quiet as possible, gently moving her wrists and ankles to test the strength of her restraints. _Well at least I'm not hooked up to any machines this time._ Harleen pressed her lips together to feel her lower was split, swollen, and bloody. Stretching her neck revealed fresh bruising and cuts along her clavicle. Her legs ached and knuckles felt raw from what Harleen could only hope were some well executed punches. Harleen's breath caught in her throat when she tried to sit up straight. _Let's add some broken ribs to the list._

A door quietly creaked open alerting Harleen's heightened senses to another presence in the room. Suddenly the atmosphere, thick with tension, was cut with a swirling blade that spun through the air and landed square into Harleen's chest scar. She winced as a new burning pain zinged up her neck and into her temple. Harleen clenched her teeth to prevent any reaction of pain escaping her face.

"What the hell was that for?"

A light cracked into life and shone right into Harleen's eyes as a tall, clean cut figure stepped out of the shadows.

"That was for one of the many men you stole from me."

Harleen snickered. "Oh don't worry sweetie. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Have you tried ?" Harleen's retort was met with a swift punch to the orbital bone. The room swirled with lights and colours as Harleen shook herself back into clarity.

"Was that for all the hugs you didn't get as a child?" A third goon appeared with no neck and punched Harleen with his club fist, breaking her few remaining intact ribs. Harleen's breathing was shallow to control the pain, but it couldn't stop her giggles from leaking out between grimaces.

"Not that I don't love this small talk, but" Harleen spat out a mouthful of blood, "is there a point to this little punch up session or do you guys just enjoy beating up poor, defenseless girls?"

The clean cut man who had yet to throw a punch emerged fully into the light and approached Harleen smiling. "Oh baby, you are hardly defenseless." Harleen struggled to see through her swollen eyes, but she examined the voice closely. He was tall with styled black hair. On any other day, a girl might consider him handsome with his rugged features and piercing blue eyes, but the only eyes Harleen had time for were green and more importantly not here. The man squat down in front of the broken harlequin ragdoll and threw a smile that filled Harleen with rage. For the first time since she arrived, she frowned and allowed her pain to seep through.

"What do you want?" The man came closer and ran his eyes up and down her frame, studying every inch.

"You really are beautiful. I can see why you turn the clown's crank. I almost thought about leaving you alive and keeping you for myself, but then you just had to go and carve up Alicia." Harleen burst out laughing at the memory, then quickly sputtered as most blood sprayed from her mouth.

"Was she sleeping with you too…Mario? Do you enjoy your father's sloppy seconds?"

Mario lurched forward and wrapped his hand around Harleen's jaw in a death grip, forcing her to stare straight into his soulless eyes.

"You parasite! Do you have any idea what you did? Alicia is in Arkham now thanks to you. The scars have driven her mad!"

Harleen's lips thinned into a devilish grin. "Madness is always a wonderful emergency exit." Mario slapped Harleen hard across her cheek, opening up a fresh wound.

"Why don't you ever just keep your crazy, bitch mouth shut?" Harleen gave a weak grin before spitting blood into Mario's eye. After calmly wiping the spittle off his face, Mario grabbed the knife that was still imbedded in Harleen's J and pulled it out slowly while dragging it down, crossing out the letter and making Harleen scream in agony. He smiled finally getting a reaction out of the clown princess, but Harleen growled, infuriated with herself that she showed weakness. Harleen's shallow breathing was making her feel faint, but she filled the room with a roar to force herself to stay conscious.

"Why don't you just kill me already if that's what you're so hot for?"

Mario smiled and waggled the bloody knife back and forth.

"Not yet baby. The guest of honour hasn't arrived yet. I want him to watch the light in your eyes fade to black."

Harleen scoffed. "What makes you think he'd even come looking for me? I'm just another employee." Now it was Mario's turn to tilt his head back and roar with laughter.

"How stupid do you think I am?" A goon pulled back Harleen's hood tight against the chair to prevent a comeback.

"You are a delight little Harley Quinn because you are the clown's one weakness. He will always come for you." Harleen smirked at the innuendo in her head, but doubt slowly began to fill her mind. _I'm not Harley Quinn. I'm just Harleen._ Harleen felt her vision begin to dim, but she rallied herself to keep talking. If Joker was going to show up, she needed to buy him all the time she could.

"Mario, this can't simply be about avenging your whore. What's this really about?"

Mario turned away from Harleen to stare into the darkness, temporarily lost in thought. _I feel a monologue coming on._

"Gotham is changing. You and your little boyfriend are old news. You all are. The age of "super villainy" is over. No one cares about exploding whoopee cushions, lunatics with freezer guns, or riddles that no one gets and lead nowhere. You're all children trying desperately to impress the big Bat teacher at the front of the classroom. It's pathetic. It's embarrassing to the rest of the criminal underworld frankly. Your little club is outdated and outclassed. I hear your boy doesn't even own a computer. In this day and age? Now that's crazy!"

 _Just when you think staying conscious can't get any harder._ Harleen was desperate to break up the speech.

"So why burn down the Jack and Ape?" Mario paused and shrugged.

"I needed you for bait. Your boss wouldn't hand you over…something about loyalty…I don't know. So I burned her place to the ground and took you anyway."

Harleen thought for a moment. "Those baboons in the bar that night. They were your guys."

Mario smiled. "Yeah there doesn't seem to be one of my men you haven't beaten to a pulp. They were there to ensure the transaction took place smoothly, but you can't account for insanity." Harleen let out a proud giggle.

"Is that why Daddy was in the Knife Edge talking to Mr. J?"

Mario shrugged. "The old man still has a thing for honour amongst thieves."

The faint sound of an approaching vehicle filled Harleen's ears as her heart made a painful leap into her throat. _Got to keep this idiot talking just a little bit longer._

"So Falcone Jr makes Gotham his playboy playground while Daddy runs after him, cleaning up his messes. How humiliating for your family." Mario's jaw tensed as he stomped towards Harleen. His arm thrust out and he grabbed Harleen harshly around the throat, constricting what little air was getting through.

"Not anymore baby. I strangled the old man just a few hours ago. I imagine his boys are just finding him now. So don't think for one moment that anyone is going to play diplomat here. You are well and truly on your own." With that, Mario shoved Harleen backwards, toppling her chair. She coughed as her head bashed against the concrete and her windpipe attempted to return to its regular shape. Harleen winced at the new pain and felt her last moments of light ebb from her. Just before she fell away into darkness, hundreds of marbles bounced and rolled along the floor towards the men and Harleen. She smiled as one by one they exploded to the frightened screams of frightened men. _Fashionably late as always._


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi Everyone. This is my last chapter. Thank you so much for joining me for this little story.  
I've had so much fun I will definitely be writing more so please follow me to check it out.  
Again I cannot express how wonderful and kind everyone has been over the last little while. I really hope you enjoy this last chapter and please do watch for more from me. :)**

 **Update: I have a new story to sort of follow this one. It's called Aces are Wild if you'd like to check it out. :)**

"Baby Falcone! How wonderful to see you again. I see your father has taken you out of rompers and put you in big boy pants. How sweet." Joker's high pitched cackle echoed off the concrete walls and overpowered the sound of the final exploding marbles. Through the smoke of the miniature grenades, several large men appeared all wearing clown masks and suits. Joker stood in the centre, casually tossing an untriggered grenade in his hand. His eyes scanned the room gleefully, until they landed on the unconscious form of his queen. For a moment that only Johnny could detect, Joker's eyes widened and the corners of his mouth turned down ever so slightly. Upon recovery, Johnny nodded to one of the masked henchmen who all too eagerly ran to Harleen's side. Before he could reach out to grab her, Mario drew a gun and aimed it at the henchman's head.

"Uh uh uh…you shouldn't touch what isn't yours."

Joker smiled. "I couldn't agree more." With that, he quickly pulled the pin and threw the grenade behind Falcone's goons where it exploded, showering the cowering men in chunks of concrete and rebar. Joker's henchman quickly cut Harleen from the chair and dragged her to the farthest wall he could find.

Gunfire was echoing off the walls as Harleen's eyes fluttered open in agony. Wincing at the pain flooded her senses with new pain. As her eyes adjusted to the new light and as she blinked away the dust, her breath caught in her throat as an unwelcome clown mask stared at her.

"Don't worry. You still don't have any lipstick on your teeth," the mask whispered. Harleen smiled (or at least tried to) upon hearing the familiar sound of Eddie's drawl. Eddie reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out massive amounts of gauze.

"I figured you were going to need some reconstruction."

Harleen laughed. "Jesus Eddie, you're going to bind me up like Boris Karloff." Eddie smiled and made quick work of Harleen, wrapping up her wrists and ankles first, stopping the bleeding from where the ropes had dug in. Next was her shoulder where her J was horribly mangled. Eddie's thick hands shook as he tried to tend to Harleen with the utmost tenderness, making every attempt not to cause any pain. Harleen smiled at her friend's help and carefully removed her jester hat to shake her hair free. The room began to spin at the simple movement, but Eddie braced her gently when she began to tilt sideways.

As Eddie worked, Harleen took in the ridiculous sight that befell her. Joker was laughing like a child on Christmas, leaping from cover to cover and firing his gun like he just wanted to hear the sound. Harleen did note that almost every bullet found its mark. Johnny was huddled behind a crate that barely covered his hulking frame, but his shots were calm and calculated. The other masked men found varying degrees of success with their shots, but provided the necessary cover as Joker bounced his way closer and closer to Mario. Harleen looked over Eddie's shoulder and saw in the darkness one of Mario's men creeping towards Eddie to retake his boss's prize. Without hesitation, Harleen reached out and grabbed Eddie's revolver, taking quick aim at the sneak and planting three bullets into his head. Eddie stopped and lifted his mask on top of his head. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened.

"Good shot."

Harleen giggled. "Got your back Jack." Eddie pulled his face into a dopey smile and taped off the last bit of gauze.

"There I think that should hold you together until we can get you back home and fix you up proper." Harleen planted a chaste kiss on Eddie's cheek as she returned his gun to its holster.

"Thanks pal." Eddie stood up, pulled his mask back down and offered a hand to help up Harleen which she gratefully took.

Eddie ran through the gun fire to find suitable cover and joined his fellow henchmen in the shower of bullets. Harleen crouched down and hurried her way over to Johnny. Johnny smiled at the tattered form of his boss's creation.

"How you doing slugger?"

Harleen grinned. "A-okay John." Johnny reloaded his handgun and turned the handle over to Harleen. Smiling wickedly Harleen balanced the gun in her hand when suddenly all firing ceased with a yell from Joker.

Mario's men looked up and quickly dropped their weapons as Joker's men held fast to theirs. Harleen put her gun down and stood up slowly to find Joker standing triumphant with Mario on the ground, his throat pinned under Joker's foot.

"Well well Baby Falcone. This is interesting. I've called your bluff and you've got nothing. Tsk tsk…how disappointing."

Mario spit as a small trickle of blood began to seep out the corner of his mouth.

"You go to Hell, you clownish bastard." Joker laughed loudly as he landed a sharp kick to Mario's gut.

"I love the sound of popping spleens in the morning," Joker cackled.

"Now then," Joker called out to Falcone's men. "It seems you boys are without direction. Join me, and I can offer you more fun than this toddler. At least I'm house broken."

The largest of Mario's goons stepped forward in defiance. "And if we don't?" A bullet rushed through his head and the brick of a man had crumpled to the ground, before the smoke cleared from Joker's barrel.

The remaining goons quickly shuffled over to Joker's masked men who searched them for additional weapons, cuffed them, and put black, cloth bags over their heads as they were escorted to a big, black van. Joker gave a long, low laugh.

"I do love recruitment drives. The fear and apprehension is almost palpable." Only Joker remained in the warehouse with his victim, with Johnny and Harleen close by.

Mario was wheezing. "You think you can just waltz in and take over the Falcone empire like that? You are going to start a war the likes of which this city has never seen."

Joker let out a sharp laugh. "Oh I hope so Mario boy. I hope all the little piss ants of this city destroy themselves trying to carve out a piece of your turf. Heaven knows I won't try and stop them. You see my little mafia moron, I never intended to take what's yours." He squatted down and dug the barrel of his gun deep into Mario's temple. "I only came back to recover what's mine."

Harleen felt electricity shoot through all her fingers and toes without pain as she stood up and walked slowly to her clown prince. Joker looked up at the movement and grinned widely as his queen appeared in all her bloodied glory.

"There's my girl," he whispered softly to himself. Harleen wrapped her arms around Joker's neck as his free arm wrapped around her waist, drawing her tightly against his body. Harleen tilted her head up to Joker's as she stood on her toes and gently took Joker's lower lip between her teeth. Joker stomped on Mario's throat hard to keep him in place as he pulled Harleen ever closer, deepening the kiss, forcing her mouth open for exploration. Harleen's hand travelled from Joker's neck, down to his shoulder, and slowly along his taught arm, until her finger gently wrapped around the trigger of the gun which was still aimed at Mario's head. With closed eyes, Harleen squeezed the trigger, silencing the junior gangster. Joker smiled and giggled against Harleen's lips. She sunk in as her senses reached a new high. Harleen's body was pressed flush against Joker's and she could feel a certain tightening that told her their evening would be occupied.

Joker pulled away from the kiss and returned his gun to his holster. He turned to face his bruised warrior queen and locked both hands securely around her waist. Harleen reached up and intertwined her fingers around her clown prince's neck.

"Harley."

"Puddin'."


End file.
